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Amusing by Blue_is_4_truth
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Warnings: Contains drunkandsweet!Sanzo but not in a funny kind of way. Also containsmy poor, sorryattempts at humor. Remember you've been warned!

Author Notes: I want to think zan, itainohime and River Rain for reviewing When It Rains. Though I like this fic as well I'd have to say I like When It Rains better. : ) But that's just my opinion, read it and tell me yours!

A/N 2: Also, I'm looking for someone to beta for me. It shouldn't be too hard of a job since I only write when inspiration hits me and that doesn't happen often. I would like someone to beta my already existing stories and any I might write in the future. It would be best if the person wouldn't mind beta-ing for other fandoms (Harry Potter mainly) and doesn't have a problem reading different pairings. If anyone would like to do this for me just send me an e-mail at or leave a comment on my live journal at Thanks. Now onto the story!

Hakkai doesn't complain often. He sees no reason to. It gets you nowhere and only serves to be annoying to those around you. Hakkai doesn't get angry often. He sees no reason to. It gets you nowhere and only serves to be annoying to those around you. What Hakkai does do often is smile, because truthfully, it gets you nowhere and only serves to be annoying to those around you. If someone were to ask Hakkai why he doesn't get angry or complain yet smiles even though they all get the same results he would tell them that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar and he doesn't have the energy to go chasing after flies when he can get them stuck in one place nearby.

It 's true that when he fights, Hakkai smiles. It's not because he finds killing all that amusing but because if your going to kill someone you should at least be friendly. Plus smiling at an enemy generally tends to throw them off a bit and it's so much easier to kill someone who's been struck dumb that it is when their moving all over the place. Because, really, Hakkai does not have the energy to waste. Taking care of three spoilt brats is a pretty exhausting job.

When Gojyo, Sanzo, and Goku or some variation of the three, fight, Hakkai smiles. Not because it makes the others shut up or confuses them into silence but because it really is funny and Hakkai has to get his kicks somewhere.

When Hakkai is not smiling he generally tries to go for a face that's mostly blank but vaguely amused because it annoys Gojyo, confuses Goku and causes Sanzo to ask snappishly if he finds something amusing. Hakkai likes this face. He tries to wear it as often as possible.

One of the things that Hakkai never finds amusing but tends to smile at anyway is when Goku says he's hungry. Really all Hakkai wants to do is hit Goku with so must chi he won't be able to feel hungry let alone say he is but he only smiles and patiently tells Goku they'll be in the next town soon. Most often time they're never close to a town at all but at least it shuts Goku up for at least another mile or so as he imagines all the food he thinks he soon will be devouring. What is funny to Hakkai is telling Goku the same thing over and over again for the whole day. It really is amusing how red Sanzo's face gets before he hits Goku with his fan.

There are, of course, times when Hakkai really does get angry. When Sanzo's in one of his moods or when Gojyo deliberately picks a fight with Goku, Hakkai can not help it when accidently spills some cigarette ash from the ash tray into their cups of coffee and forgets to get them a new cups. It's very satisfying to see the look of utter disgust on Gojyo's face and the almost gagging motion of Sanzo's body. Hakkai's theory is this, swallowing a little ash can be no worse that inhaling the stuff into their lungs. And if by some chance swallowing the ash kills them Hakkai can't possibly held responsible, cigarettes can kill, it says so right on the box.

Watching Sanzo and Gojyo back and splutter usually cheers him up so that he can smile when he ask them if they would like some water and then points them to the nearest source.

Hakkai doesn't smile when one of the other thee is hurt. He does not find this at all amusing and sees no reason to pretend he does. Hakkai doesn't like to think much during those times because he tends to get agitated, like being angry and complaining, agitation gets you nowhere and only serves to be annoying to those around you.

When everyone is well again, Hakkai tends to smile too much. It would be nice to say his mood is infectious but that would be a lie. He goes back to spend his time breaking up fights and adverting small disasters as if no one was just dragged back from the brink of death. He doesn't mind, trying to stop Gojyo and Hakkai from killing each other is a lot better than worrying that they'll never have the chance to try to kill each other again. Well, he sometimes reflects, to too much better.

There are different times around each of his companions that Hakkai can scarcely keep his amusement under control. With Gojyo it is when the other man is talking about or talking up an attractive woman. Hakkai can barely keep from laughing and often has to cover up an escaped giggle with a feigned coughing fit. He's not sure why he finds this so funny, maybe it's the fact Gojyo actually believes all the things that are coming out of his mouth, maybe it's because the girl in question does. Whatever it is he knows that the look on Gojyo's face when he is turned down is one of the most amusing things he's ever seen. He thinks to himself that those times should happen more often.

With Goku the thing Hakkai finds amusing is when he is actually eating. It's not so much the act itself that Hakkai finds amusing but the affect it seems to have on those around him. Once again the urge to laugh is almost too strong to bare.

Hakkai finally, after some time, came to the conclusion that what he finds most amusing in the world are faces. Even the most grotesque one serves only to make him smile.

The time that Hakkai is most amused around Sanzo is when the other man is drunk. Though still prickly and cynical the priest's guard is let down enough for Hakkai to see a side of him that is not only amusing but vaguely attractive.

Hakkai is the only one that can stand to be around Sanzo when he is drunk. He puts up a good fight like the others when it comes time to decide who will stay with the drunken priest but in the end he gives up and pretends to be resigned to a night of babysitting Sanzo until he passes out. After all he can't seem too eager about getting yelled at or possibly vomited on. He can't let the others think he's a masochistic even though he probably is since he finds sitting with a drunk Sanzo amusing.

Generally when Sanzo gets drunk Hakkai spends his nights refilling Sanzo's drink and listening to him yell at the barkeep to refill his already filled cup. Occasionally Sanzo will look across the table and ask Hakkai what he finds so damn funny. Hakkai will shrugs, take another sip of his coffee and tell Sanzo his cup looks as if it's getting empty. Hakkai knows it's wrong to do this but he can't help but find the barkeeps distress amusing as well.

At the end of the night when Sanzo is almost falling out his chair and is attempting to vanquish humans with his gun, Hakkai drags him to the room they are staying in and lays him down gently onto his bed. This is Sanzo's quo to either throw up on Hakkai's shoes or tell him that his has a very nice smile. If it is the latter Hakkai will smile charmingly and pull the covers up over Sanzo's body. Sanzo will then tell Hakkai that he always likes to see him smile, that he wishes he could make him smile, that he wishes he didn't make him not smile. If Hakkai was not used to hearing these things he would not be able to understand what Sanzo is saying.

At this point Sanzo will either fall asleep or grab Hakkai by the shoulders and pull him downward so that their faces are just a few inches apart. Sanzo's breath will be rank with the smell of beer and alcohol but Hakkai will no care because Sanzo will say the words that always make Hakkai's breath catch and chest tighten. I always want to kiss you when you smile.

Hakkai will then smile for two reasons 1) it's always amusing to think of Sanzo thinking such a thing and 2) he knows what Sanzo will do next.

The feel of Sanzo's lips on his own is always a surprise for him no matter how many times it happens. His body will relax on reflex letting himself indulge in this one guilty little pleasure. Sanzo's lips will be clumsy but bold, moving insistently against Hakkai's mouth. Hakkai will let Sanzo have his moment of control before taking over and turning the kiss from drunk and sloppy to urgent and demanding. He will let himself think for a moment that Sanzo is his. He will claim him with his lips and tongue and hands letting his fingers brush the hair from Sanzo's forehead.

After a moment Hakkai will pull back and Sanzo will stare up at him with all the malice and anger gone. He will be laid bare and Hakkai will see all the hurt and pain and longing buried within those eyes before they close and Sanzo falls into sleep. Hakkai will place a gentle kiss on Sanzo's forehead and go to his own bead to retire for sleep himself.

In the morning Sanzo will have a headache and a temper a mile wide. He will snap at anyone who is too loud and order Hakkai to get him some damn coffee! He will not remember the night before and when he looks at Hakkai there will be nothing there but anger and malice in his eyes.

Hakkai will get the coffee and add the usual ash to the cup. He will not smile when Sanzo starts gagging and will not offer him any water. He will leave the room to go prepare Jeep for when they leave.

He will spend the next days hoping that Sanzo will get drunk at the next inn but knowing even if he does will only get vomit covered shoes this time. And when Sanzo does get drunk again and he does do the things that Hakkai hopes for, Hakkai will spend the rest of the night hoping that Sanzo will remember in the morning. He never does. Hakkai does not find this amusing.

But Hakkai spends all the days between these encounters smiling. And if someone were to ask him why he doesn't get angry or complain yet smiles he would tell them it's because you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar but that wouldn't be the truth. The truth would be that he smiles because he's thinking that every time he smiles Sanzo wants to kiss him. Sometimes, when he lets himself relax, Hakkai realizes that it is all very amusing in a twisted-not-so-much-so kind of way.

And then he smiles.

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