"You wear that hat just so that you can hide behind it."

"What?" Hazel cast an incredulous look at Homura, who was currently sprawled on the couch.

"Admit it, bishopling. Every time you look at Sanzo you have to pull that... thing down over your face so that no one notices you're blushing," Homura traced circles in the air with one finger.

Hazel launched a glare in Homura's direction. He had absolutely no idea how the dolt had ended up as their house guest. Gato was supposed to have thrown him out on his posterior but...

And suddenly, there were sparkles.

"And Gato, Gato has the most gorgeous golden eyes," Homura was saying. "Have I told you about his eyes?"

"Yes," Hazel ground out. "Fifteen times today."

"It was the eyes," Homura continued, caught up in his own little bubble of bliss. "I looked into his eyes and I knew: This is it! He is the One! Who needs Son Goku?" He plucked a rose out of thin air and inhaled deeply. "Ah, the smell of spring, which tells us that love is in the air..."

Unable to bear the besotted babble any longer, Hazel fled into the kitchen.

The kitchen smelt of coffee. This wasn't surprising, considering that Gato had brewed a pot and Sanzo was currently draining it. When Sanzo glanced up momentarily and their eyes met, Hazel's sparkle generator promptly went 'ping!' and activated.

"Gato, I don't see what you see in him," Hazel said, dropping into one of the chairs around the kitchen table.

"Who?" Gato asked.

"Homura."

"Oh. Him."

There was a pause in the conversation as Sanzo snorted coffee up his nose and Hazel leapt across the table with concern written all over his features. Sanzo waved him away, and the sparkles faltered momentarily.

"You worry too much," Sanzo sneezed, spraying coffee all over the newspaper.

"Well, but. I--"

Sanzo reached blindly for his cup, missed, and knocked it over.

Hazel nearly shrieked as coffee showered over the hem of his robes and his cape. "Sanzo! You... you..."

"Hm." Sanzo stood, fastidiously avoiding the large puddle of coffee on the floor. "It looks like you'll need a change of clothes."

They adjourned to the bedroom, while Gato shook his head and muttered about 'Newly-weds' under his breath. He did not fail to notice that neither of them emerged from the bedroom for a quite a while thereafter.

--x--

The subject arose again in the afternoon. Homura was out, for whatever reason, promising to be back later that afternoon.

Hazel rounded on Sanzo. "I thought you wanted him to leave! Why are you letting him stay?"

Sanzo shook another cigarette out of the pack while Hazel frowned in disapproval. "And you smoke too much."

"Even if I stop now, the damage is already done," Sanzo pointed out. "Anyway. You've been neglecting Gato, so Homura's probably good for him."

Hazel spluttered. "I have not been 'neglecting' Gato as you put it--"

"Oh really?" Sanzo raised a sardonic eyebrow, and was treated to the sight of Hazel stomping-- flouncing off to collapse onto the sofa. "Your hat is in the bedroom, if you need to hide behind it."

"You... You..." unable to find a suitably scathing reply, Hazel turned to Gato instead. "So what is it you see in Homura? You never answered my question."

Gato shrugged. "Nothing."

Hazel glanced at Gato, who was standing by the window, watching the road. "And you still put up with his babbling nonsense?"

"He doesn't bother me," Gato said. He paused. "They're back."

"They?"

The doorbell rang.

"We're back!" Homura announced loudly, sweeping into the house. He winked at Gato. "Hello gorgeous!"

"Who are these people?" Gato asked, eyeing the two figures that had appeared behind, carrying large suitcases.

"A War God--" Homura smirked as Hazel twitched involuntarily "--needs his retainers." He gestured. "Gato, meet Shien and Zenon. Shien, Zenon... this gorgeous fellow is Gato, you know Sanzo, and the prissy little runt is Hazel." He paused as Gato did the Looming Thing.

"Fine," Homura huffed. "The effeminate shortie in blue and white." Gato relaxed, and there were brief words of greeting all round. Hazel noticeably ignored Homura. Sanzo ignored everyone.

"I will be buying dinner," Homura announced loudly. "And even the bishopling is invited." There was a scuffle as he was forced to take two steps back. Hazel had leapt in front of him, and in response, Zenon had leapt between them, then Gato had appeared over Hazel's shoulder, and suddenly the foyer was very crowded indeed.

"Don't bother," Zenon grinned at Hazel. "You can't kill him, anyway."

"Are you a youkai?" Hazel said suspiciously.

"Hey!" Zenon said. "I resent that!"

Hazel was bristling. "You reek of youryoku."

"Hazel," Gato said in warning.

"And what if he is?" Homura smirked, before Zenon could reply. "You're going to try and kill him?"

Hazel grabbed his pendant.

"You promised that you would stop that shit after the marriage," Sanzo's very annoyed voice drifted over to him from the living room.

Guiltily, Hazel promptly dropped his the pendant and made an aborted hand movement towards the-hat-that-was-not-there. "Ah. I'm sorry, Sanzo."

"Jeez," Sanzo muttered.

"Anyway, I'm not a youkai. I'm a God. Or half of one, at least. Even if they did kick me out of Heaven," Zenon scowled.

Shien peered at Hazel. "Do you have a nervous disorder, Hazel-san? I can recommend something for the spasms."

"I do not--"

"Aww, don't keep us waiting in the hall, bishoplet. Move your skinny ass, will you?" Homura said good-naturedly. "After all, it's almost dinnertime and I made a reservation." He slammed the door shut behind him, and swept past Hazel. Shien and Zenon picked up the bags and followed.

"By the way, Sanzo-san," Shien called out. "Did you receive our package?"

"Yeah," Zenon leered. "Was it any good?"

"The fertility idol?" Sanzo asked. He gestured towards Hazel. "Whaddya think? Does he look pregnant to you?"

--x--

Credits:

The Homura / Gato sparkles are all Solaas' fault.

The fertility idol is all Rheow's fault.