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Phones by Blood_Debt
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Someone else posted something about phones on fanfiction.net, so I thought I'd better put it up before someone thought I plagarised it. Which I didn't. I wrote this several months ago. It says so on the Word doc.



"No, Goku," Hakkai replied to Goku's pleading. The pork buns lay steaming on the stalls, so tempting to the small teen. Even with his most pleading expression Hakkai stayed resolute, having just brought the other a bag of sweets, which, as a matter of fact, Goku was still chewing upon. However, Goku being Goku, he was soon distracted by a shop he saw nearby, pressing hands and face against the glass display.

"Hey, Hakkai, can I have one of these?" he questioned, with wide golden eyes.

"Eh, Hakkai, what's the monkey doing?" Gojyo asked, coming up from behind. He had gone off five minutes before to get more cigarettes. Seeing that the green-eyed healer could hardly see past the groceries, he took a few brown bags, and waited patiently for his friend to answer.

"He wants a phone," Hakkai replied warily, looking at the boy.

"That's not actually such a bad idea," was the taboo child's comment, "Then we wouldn't have to run around after him all the time." Hakkai reviewed the idea with new interest, considering this new angle.

"You're right," he said with a little surprise. Normally Gojyo's comments were rather unhelpful, prokoving Goku was his main aim in life and most of his sentences centered around that fact, and the rest of his words were pick-up lines. However, if they had handphones, they would not have to run around looking for everyone all the time. Little did he know that Gojyo was thinking of it in a slightly different way.

The red head pictured himself surrounded by ladies, asking for his phone number. Then, if he ever returned to the same village, and there was a certain lady he had found most entertaining, he could simply give her a call...

"Let's go inside," Hakkai said, shaking Gojyo out of his reverie.

"Huh?" he wondered, then seeing Goku and Hakkai enter the shop, quickly followed and slipped past the earth ascetic holding the door open, patting his head teasingly. "That's right monkey, hold the door open for your betters."

Goku let fly an expletive that would have have Sanzo thwack him with the harisen had he been there. Gojyo turned his attention back to the other man accompanying them; Hakkai was currently questioning the shopkeeper about the different functions and prices of certain mobiles.

"Is the colour screen necessary to the telephone?" he was asking.

"Well... No, but the better quality ones are," the assistant admitted "Now see this Nokia NGage, connects to the internet - one of their latest inventions on the mass market," the man introduced. Gojyo noticed that it was also one of the more expensive models.

"I want that one!" Goku cried loudly, grabbing the specimen on display and checking out the menu.

"The NGage also has a number of games easily acessible, and many more are available online. This phone was mainly designed for games," the shop attendant continued.

"Well..." Hakkai said doubtfully.

"Please, Hakkai!" cried the eighteen-year old "Please! Then you won't have to come round looking for us all the time!"

The green clad man relented "Alright then,"

"And for you, sir?" fawned the shopkeeper, knowing he had made a sale.

"I just want a functional one, thank you," Hakkai demurred politely, picking up another Nokia.

"Ah, the 2100. Yes, that is indeed a functional one."

The healer had picked up a rectangular, flat phone, only a third the size of Goku's. No colour, or camera function, just basic text and ring package.

"Trust you," Gojyo smirked. He had been served by a girl at the Sony Eriksson counter. "I'll take this one," he said, holding up a model upon which dangled the tag T6360.

"Are we sure?" Hakkai asked anxiously, "I would hate to buy something we didn't really need." The assistant quickly reassured him that mobiles were necessary for everyday life, and that he would give a special promotion especially for them.

Gojyo scoffed, "Who cares, you have Sanzo's card, right?" Hakkai nodded slowly, patting his pocket. He produced it and let the man swipe it through the cash till. Suddenly, Gojyo turned around.

"Shit. Do you feel that?" he questioned, and the other two agreed.

"Youkai. Let's go fight!" Goku cheered.

"Sanzo-ikkou! We know you're in there. Give us the Maten Sutra and we will let you live!"

"Stupid," Gojyo sighed, "Sanzo's not even here..."

The three burst outside, Hakkai already generating an energy ball to shoot at the offending demons. Goku's Nyoi-bou slammed into several Youkai before him, and Gojyo used his weapon to slash at them all. They were few, unprepared, and weak.

The fight was over in seconds. Sanzo arrived in Hakuryuu moments after that.

"Heh. Too slow, monk," Gojyo prodded at the blond.

"Shut up. Let's go," the priest shot back, emphasizing his point by clicking back the safety catch of the Smith and Wesson's.

When they were safely on their way, Goku took his latest purchase from his pocket.

"Aw man! It's broke! Someone must have hit my trousers," he complained "Now I can't play games!" Amazingly, Sanzo seemed unsurprised by the new phone, or the fact that Goku had brought one, and didn't even react when Gojyo tried to elicit a response by telling him that Hakkai had brought them using the Three Aspects credit card.

"Shut up. I don't care," was the mild reply (for Sanzo, anyway).

Gojyo waved his around, announcing,

"Now the hot chicks can get my number too!"

"Does it have a SIM card?" Sanzo enquired flatly.

"Uhh... what's that? I haven't turned it on yet..."

"Idiot," the priest said scathingly "You probably don't even know your PIN code." the rad head scratched his scalp, not wanting to admit that the only definition of pin he knew were ones used in dressmaking. "I thought so."

"Hey," he accused finally, catching on, "How come you know so much about handphones?"

The answer was non-verbal and obvious. Sanzo held up his arm, and from his wrist dangled the same phone as Gojyo had.

"Wait a minute..." Goku asked "How come you knew we were gonna buy stuff but you didn't stop us?"

"Revenge," Sanzo answered, leaning back and closing his eyes, "Revenge on the gods for saddling me with such idiots."

A dim light clicked in Goku's head.

"Does that mean I can get another one?"


Thoughts? Tomatoes? Reviews? Many thanks to Solaas for being a mini-beta and pointing out that I said head head instead of red head!

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