by Princess of Pain

(Moonlit night. Sanzo is outside of the local bumpkin hotel, smoking a cigarette. As usual, he's looking rather studly in his vacuum-sealed shirt and arm-warmers. Hazel stands a few yards away, looking rather femme in his pajamas.)

SANZO: No.
HAZEL: Please, Sanzo-han.
SANZO: Are you deaf? I said no. I have enough problems with the companions I got cornholed with at the start of all this bullshit; I don't need to add another crazy to the mix.
HAZEL: Sanzo-han, I don't think you realize everything I can do for you.

(The priest steps up behind the monk. Moonlight reflects in silver bands across his white hair; he looks like a marble statue. A small, vaguely wicked smile is on his face. Sanzo glances over his shoulder at the intruder into his personal space, pale-gold eyebrows knitted together, eyes slightly widened in a perfect "WTF?" expression.)

HAZEL: If you'll let me...

(Hazel moves directly behind Sanzo, wrapping his slender arms around the monk's waist, resting his chin against Sanzo's shoulder.)

HAZEL: I can--

(Sanzo elbows him in the gut, hard enough to crack the skull of an elephant into pieces. Hazel's eyes fly open; he utters a loud, undignified grunt, and collapses to the earth.)

SANZO: What you can do for me... is shut the fuck up.
HAZEL: *strangled noises*
SANZO: Getting hard to breathe down there, you bastard?

-owari-