The river was clean, moderately fast-flowing, deep enough to dive into and only a short distance away. That was as far as his luck stretched; river water was cold, Sanzo discovered. Even here in the lowlands, near a village with hot springs, the water was maybe two degrees above freezing. Sanzo ventured close enough to dip his big toe and the chill sent him dancing back.

He sat down and twisted his leg up so he could inspect the toe, half-expecting to see ice. Hakuryu landed on his shoulder and 'kyu'-ed questioningly, long neck snaking out to sniff at the cold toe. He ignored Sanzo's half-heated efforts to shrug him off and the monk dropped his towel on the river bank, looking out across the broad expanse of dark water. He could see the ripple of a strong current towards the middle but it looked as if he'd be alright while he stayed in the shallows.

Resigned - however ill-gracefully - to the cold water, Sanzo stripped off the last shreds of his clothes, balled them up and tossed the wadded ball into the undergrowth. Naked, he looked back at the cold water and sighed. He'd gotten used to having hot water since he settled into the monastery in Chang'an. But he'd bathed in colder water...at some point. He was nearly sure he had. Just because he couldn't remember it right this second...

"Dammit." Sanzo shook his head and dived off the bank.

"FUCK!" Sanzo erupted out of the water. The river wasn't cold, it was FREEEEZING and he started to shiver almost at once. If he had gotten dirty any other way, he would have retreated back to the bank but the mere thought of the mass of youkai slobbering all over him was enough to make a second plunge bearable.

He rubbed circulation back into his arms and reached for the soap. Unfortunately, the bar of soap was lying just out of reach and he would have to either wash without it - defeating the entire purpose of the bath - or he would have to get out and get it. Sanzo hesitated as the wind chose that exact moment to pick up, sending a wave of goosebumps pebbling across his skin.

"Kyu!" The white dragon swooped in, snatching up the bar of soap and dropping it on Sanzo's...hair. The monk considered throwing something at the dragon but, realising that the only thing he had to throw was the soap, contented himself with snarling something rude under his breath.

He might have been able to salvage some sense of dignity from the whole fiasco if Jeep hadn't proceeded to perch on the very edge of the bank and watch every move Sanzo made. There was something rather disconcerting about having a predator, however small, watching you bathe.

He scrubbed at his skin, eager to get clean and get the fuck out of the freezing water as fast as possible. Plunging under the water a second time - while not as bad - was enough to start shivers rippling along his arms and legs. He was starting to go numb, which was why he didn't feel the hand sliding up along his leg. Not until it brushed against his groin anyway.

Sanzo wasn't the most duitful of priests. He knew that; he smoked, he drank, he swore, he gambled and he killed. About the only sin he hadn't comitted was Lust. Years in the temple had taught him that sex was simply a matter of physical need and dominance, neither of which appealed. So, what happened next was really just reflexive. His elbow drove down, into the tenderest of areas and his hand shot up to catch the other man on the chin.

All things considered, it was lucky for Gojyo that Sanzo had originally learnt to use those tactics when he was a boy, who was dealing with men older and taller than him. It meant that the blow that connected with the kappa's chin was just short of lethal momentum. The elbow, however, connected perfectly.

Gojyo folded up with a whimper that rose rapidly in pitch and trailed off into gurgling as the redhead slid under the surface. Sanzo watched him sink, flushed and FURIOUS. He was more than tempted to simply let the bastard drown...but then Hakkai'd get on his case and the monkey would whine like he'd done during the whole 'Kamisama' fiasco.

Growling about 'pervert kappas', Sanzo reached out and grabbed a fist of red hair. Still muttering darkly (and wishing he had his harisen), he dragged the water sprite to the bank and dumped him there. Hakuryu hopped over to investigate the whimpering kappa. The little dragon sniffed at limp red hair, snorted and fluttered up to hover protectively behind Sanzo's shoulder.

"This has not been my day." Sanzo felt his hands curl into fists. He wanted a smoke, a drink and a fight; in that order and very soon. The cigarette and the drink were going to have to wait until the next village and about the only thing he could fight was the water sprite currently cradling his groin and squeaking in pain. He pulled himself out of the water and wrapped his towel around his hips. The breeze was getting sharper and Sanzo shivered. There were times like these, when Sanzo believed implicitly in the existence of gods. There was no way he could be having such a crappy day by pure chance.

"Sanzo?" Hakkai's voice sounded ...almost frantic.

Instinctively, Sanzo reached for his gun...which was back with the rest of the baggage. His shoulders slumped and he blew out an angry breath. "Over here!"

The green-eyed healer came running out of the woods and straight into him. Sanzo swore and scrabbled franticly to cling onto his towel as the youkai flung both arms around him and proceeded to cling on like a limpet. "Idiot..bastard..LET GO!"

As ever, Hakkai was too strong and tenacious, clinging on despite Sanzo's best efforts. The monk was reduced to flailing at him with one hand while clutching the ends of his towel in the other. Hakkai seemed to have a lot more hands than Sanzo remembered and the monk was hard-pressed to keep them away from private parts. He managed to fend the healer off somewhat and gasped "Oi, what's the matter?"

"Gojyo tried to force you?"

Sanzo grunted. "So?"

"Aah, we may have a problem then." Hakkai's smile became rather fixed and overly bright. "Goku heard...something and well..."

"What?!" Sanzo all but roared in frustration.

A twig snapped behind them and Sanzo caught a glimpse of familar brown hair. The breeze tugged at Sanzo's towel and shook out an orange cape. The blond frowned and tried to twist free, but Hakkai resisted easily. There was something wrong, his instincts were screaming it. "Go-ku?"

Even as golden eyes snapped to stare at him, he knew. Even before he saw the long, pointed ears and the feral smile...but even as he watched, the slitted golden eyes narrowed and took on a dangerous light. Sanzo felt a tremor of blind terror freeze him in place. The last time he'd felt like this had been in the first few weeks of life with Goku; when the limiter broke for the first time.

He heard Hakkai growl and saw a hand rising to pull off the silver ear cuffs. In those few drawn out seconds as the two youkai snarled at each other and the wind threatened to pull his towel out of his frozen fingers, Sanzo had one absolutely lucid thought.

Somewhere, someone is laughing at this....