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Sunset by Stage
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Sunset

He was always scrambling for the sunset, Hakkai decided.

At night, Hakkai sat by the fire with Gojyo and they would talk until Sanzo's gun made a menacing appearance. Even in the dim glow of dying embers, Hakkai could clearly see the color of Gojyo's eyes and when he lay down, the sharp way his hair would catch light. It was at that time that Hakkai felt the strongest itch in his palm. His fingers longed for a touch as though they had barely had the pleasure before. The memories in his palms were of nights of stolen touches and useless wishing. After all, Gojyo was picky about his women.

Hakkai had been nearly caught once. His fingers had sprung to life on their own, tangling through scarlet strands for a moment, just a moment, before Gojyo had stirred and inquired. Always quick-witted, Hakkai brushed it off as a bit of nature trapped in a crimson prison. To beef up his defense, he had even added in a nervous laugh and an embarrassed smile. Gojyo, too tired to argue, had slipped back into his slumber, not noticing the melancholy gleam in his friend's smile.

During the day, he and his companions traveled west until the night was impenetrable, even for Hakuryuu's headlights. Nearly everyday, the Sanzo-ikkou saw the sun die and smother the clear blue sky with it's lifeblood. If any thought of the symbolism within, none spoke a word.

Hakkai stewed over this. The sunset, he concluded, was Gojyo. Passionate and bright with energy, Gojyo was prone to moments of showiness before he burned out and kicked back. He ushered in the night and disappeared, leaving the moon to rule while he had his fun. Gojyo always went out with a bang and if he spilled a little blood in the process, did it matter?

Then Kanan had to be the sunrise. Sweet, demure, and waking the world with her soft glow, she was mindful to not disturb or startle someone. Kanan had been a pure sort of person, shining with new life and the promise of a fresh start. She nurtured. She lavished love and attention. Hakkai thought that it was a stomach-turning irony that Kanan, like the sunrise, had met a bloody, burning end.

I'm the moon. Hakkai started one night as he lay gazing up through the crisp air. His heart pounded in his throat as he (unwillingly) pressed into the thoughts that would follow his realization. Hakkai was alone. He was cold and desolate with imperfections and deep scars in his surface that could never be smoothed away. Hakkai had a false front. He did not shine with his own light; no, Hakkai was forced to borrow and he paled in comparison to the real thing. Even worse, Hakkai knew that he was forever torn between Kanan and Gojyo. He was bond to both of them; eternally forced to chase Gojyo and flee from Kanan and Gonou and the life he had left behind.

Hakkai tried to bury himself deep inside his makeshift bed, heedless of the scarlet eyes glinting after him in the dark.

*

Disclaimer: Saiyuki belongs to all respective copyrighters and the creator, Kazuya Minekura. I make no claim to own any part of Saiyuki.

I think there's going to be a companion fic, Gojyo's POV, called “Moon Rising.”

Thanks for reading!


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