So Can I Call You Uncle? by Hanae da Firefly

A/N: I just realized that I wrote some random fics in my old file. This gave me a laugh, and I hope you will too.

So Can I Call You Uncle?

          “. . .No, I wanted to know if you’re happy or not so I can ask you a question,” Goku replied. Sanzo removed his glasses. “Why the hell are you killing me NOW of all times?!! Spit it out and bug off!!”

           Goku nodded in understanding. He rushed to Sanzo’s side and sat on the floor.

          “ Sanzo, what am I to you?”

          Sanzo was a little shocked at this question, but it was nothing compared what the monkey said on more angsty days.

           Sanzo heaved a heavy sigh. “What happened?”

           “Does something always have to happen? I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know! Sanzo!!”

          (THWACKITTY THWACK)

           “Yes, something ALWAYS has to happen!! Now shaddap and sit down like a good boy!!” he growled, taking his newspaper to read. Goku plopped back onto the floor, massaging the area where the fan had hit his head moaning a soft ‘Yow. . .’ and looked up at him with a pout.

           After an awkward moment of silence, Sanzo threw down the paper and looked at Goku with even more irritation.

           “What?!!”

           “You still haven’t answered my question!”

           “What do you want me to SAY?!”

           “Am I like a brother, or a son, or. . .”

           “You are just a kid I picked up!! I am a just guardian!!! Got it?!!”

           “That’s not answering anything!”

           “You’re like; someone I adopted!!”

           “So do I call you ‘dad’?”

           “Fucking no!”

           “Uncle?”

           “DO I look like a bloody OLD man to you? I’m only 23, idiot!”

           “Hmm. . . ‘Uncle Sanzo’. Sounds catchy”

           (THWACKITTY THWACK WHACK WHACK FWAP)

           “What. The. Hell. Is. The. Matter. With. You??!!! Are you THAT retarded?!”

           “I’m trying to find out!”

           "That you're THAT retarded?!"

           "No! I just wanna find out!"

"Why the bloody fuck do ya wanna find out?!”

           “’Cause I-!”

           Sanzo’s eyes landed squarely on Goku’s. He looked away as Sanzo’s steely gaze began to cut within him.

           “What?”

           “W-well, I’ve. . I’ve never had any parents, or brothers, or sisters. . . s-so. .”

           Sanzo sighed yet again before dropping into his seat.

           “Is that all you’re gonna say?”

           “H-huh? I mean, yeah. . .”

           When it came to discipline, Sanzo was top of the top. When it came to killing zombies, demons, monsters and ghosts, all humanity feared the blonde holy man. When it came to chain-smoking, the only person who would be able to out-smoke him would be Gojyo, and even then, he bought lites.

           When it came to playing or entertaining his boy, he left the task to Gojyo. When it went down to being all mushy and brotherly and comforting, that was what Hakkai was for.

           Where on this cursed and fucking Earth were they?!!!

           Another sigh.

           “Goku, aren’t you happy with what you have now?” he asked, softening his gaze very slightly. Goku thought for a moment before smiling. “Yeah! You’re right!”

           He rushed for the door, positively light-hearted. As he was about to run out, he looked back at Sanzo. “What now?” He grinned mischievously. “So can I call you ‘Uncle Sanzo’?” He ducked as a fan came flying towards his face.

A/N: Please review!