Moonlight Sonata by sf / Elvaron

  It was midnight, and the moon was up.

Several people were also up. Two of them were currently ambling down the road in the far East. One was ambling down another road in the far West. Another three were clustered around the bed of an unconscious fourth, somewhere between the East and the West. And yet another three were currently working in a tower midway between the Earth and the skies.

In the tower, the three each stood on an apex of a five pointed star carved into the ground. A scroll lay on each of the remaining two apexes.

"This is it," one figure spoke. He raised his arms, and light grew within the room. Static crackled as the air became electrified. "Today we shall rewrite history! Today, we shall--"

"--this is just the dry run, Homura-sama. Can we get on with it?" another figure complained. "It's been a bloody long day and I just want a cold beer and--"

"--Shut up," the first figure growled. "I can't concentrate." He closed his eyes as the light grew, and his cape billowed out behind him. The air crackled more.

The third figure frowned. "Something is not right."

The second figure glanced over. "Come on, we've before over this in detail. What could possibly be..."

The air hissed viciously before solidifying into a solid bolt of lightning that snapped across the room to smite the first figure.

*

"I... have a bad feeling about this," Goku said nervously.

Outside, the moon continued to shine placidly down.

*

The moon shone down on the two travellers in the East, who were currently heading even further East. The shorter one stopped abruptly in his tracks, causing the taller one to pause in concern and ask: "Is something the matter, Hazel?"

"No..." the one named Hazel shook his head. "It was probably nothing." Except perhaps a sense of terrible foreboding.

Moonlight illuminated the path ahead, but neither were aware that it was not the same path that they had been walking on all this while.

*

"Oh damnit," Homura cursed, desperately trying to remove his melted shackles and put out the flames currently consuming his cloak.

"We can't stop this ritual half way!" Zenon yelled. "You're tearing open the fabric of reality! We can't just leave the darn cracks open..."

"Put out these damn flames before--" Homura ducked uselessly as another bolt of lightning sprang from a metal pipe to slam into his huge metal sword.

"I warned you that carrying large metal objects into the room during the ritual was not a good idea," Shien rebuked Homura gently. Beside him, Zenon yelped as a bolt slagged his machine gun. The sutras continued to glow merrily.

"Stop standing around and help me!" Homura snapped.

"Oh hohoho, what an irony," Zenon growled, staring at the remains of his gun. "Homura, the War God of Flame, or the Flaming War God, needs help in putting out his fires."

*

The lone figure staggering down the road in the far West blinked. His vision was blurring crazily, but he was quite sure that the road wasn't as empty as it had been a moment ago. And the only creatures who could appear out of thin air -- the only creatures who were likely to appear out of thin air right in his path...

Alucard grinned crazily and drew both his pistols. This was going to be fun.

*

The first bullet took Hazel squarely in hat. As he went rigid in surprise, Gato surged to life and shoved him out of harm's way.

*

Alucard hooted as the other side returned fire. The big one was a good shot. The small one was glancing around frantically for his hat.

...He decided that the small one annoyed him. He was the swishy vampire in all of England. No one else was allowed to wear funny hats and swishy clothing. No one.

Except maybe Integra, but she was forgiven because she didn't wear hats.

He squinted and loosed a bullet at the shortie, who dived out of the way with the speed of terror.

*

"My hair's on fire! My hair's on fire!"

Shien sighed and stepped off the star. His superior was more important than the world, after all.

*

Goku stepped out for a breath of fresh air, and it promptly began raining fish.

*

Gato frowned. He'd hit the unknown attacker a few times, but although their foe was evidently bleeding, he wasn't slowing down at all.

"He must be a monster," Hazel observed from somewhere behind, still hunting for his hat.

"A monster?" the enemy bellowed. "Yes, that's a good word! I am a monster." He grinned, and fangs gleamed in the moonlight gone suddenly red.

Hazel glanced up in alarm. The entire world was fading to a dull shade of crimson, and the shadows seemed to be growing -- especially the shadows around the monster.

"I'm impressed," the monster drawled. "You are no ordinary vampire. Or..." he squinted at his pistol. "Walter gave me normal bullets instead of the silver coated ones."

Gato shot him right through the head.

The world spoinged right back to a more pleasant shade of blue as the monster fell over, clutching his head.

"Do you know how much that's going to hurt in the morning?" the monster whined, and produced a large bottle from somewhere in the depths of his coat. He uncorked it and there was the strong smell of whisky.

"Vampire?" Hazel demanded. "Gato's no vampire!"

The monster glanced blearily at them. "Ah. I see. You're the vampire. He's the Igor. It all makes sense now."

*

"There, I think that's the last of the flames--"

The sutras pulsed, and another bolt whacked into Homura's belt buckle.

*

"I am not a vampire," the shortie returned irritably. "And if you're attacking us simply because you think I'm a vampire, then you're sadly mistaken."

Alucard sheathed his pistols and ambled up to him. The big guy tensed.

"Oh. Thought those were wings," he flicked a cape tail. "And you have blue eyes. Weird, that." He spun, and ambled a few steps back down the path. "But!" he said, spinning abruptly back. "You're too swishy. I don't like competition."

"Swishy?"

Alucard tipped his hat stylishly. "Defend yourself, shortie."

*

Homura decided that he was going to kill Shien. When he could find him.

The room was covered in foam and powder. He didn't know which world Shien had plucked that foam spewing contraption out from, but when he'd said 'put the fire out at all costs', he hadn't quite meant that literally...

The green glow of the sutras was just barely visible under the froth.

*

Gojyo gathered sticks, and Hakkai taught them how to fashion skewers. The smell of frying fish filled the air, but that still didn't wake Sanzo. Goku sadly concluded that Sanzo had his priorities all wrong. After all, the smell of Hakkai's cooking would get the normal person out of bed any time, coma or coma.

*

Hazel scowled furiously at the monster, and grabbed a revolver from Gato. As the monster reeled tipsily, he squinted and nailed the terribly bright red hat.

The monster howled in fury. The corner of Gato's mouth twitched as he took the revolver back.

There was the sound of screaming bullets. Hazel took cover behind Gato, hurriedly enabling the pendant. A golden glow engulfed the shikigami, and there was a momentary pause in the gunfire.

"You're not a female vampire, are you?" the monster called. "Males use red glows. They're cooler."

Hazel ground his teeth.

Abruptly, there was the sound of something massive splitting into two. A crack seemed to appear in thin air. Hazel had one moment to glance backwards before he felt himself being sucked towards it. Gato had been closer; he'd vanished already.

Hazel dived for his hat. His fingers snagged the brim just as the vortex sucked him in.

*

Homura slumped backwards. Displaced bubbles floated into the air to settled on his hair like so many snowflakes.

"That's it. We really need a lightning conductor in future," he moaned. Somewhere, the sutras fell over, their power spent now that the ritual was over.

"I told you we shouldn't try it without Son Goku," Zenon scowled at him.

Shien was silent. It was best not remind Homura of his presence at the moment.

Through the window, he could see the full moon.

*

The moon shone down on a road. One was seated. The other was sprawled flat on the ground.

"I hate this place," the one on the ground said eventually.

"The damage is repairable." The seated one turned a hat over his in hands. "Once we reach the next town."

The one on the ground glanced his way. "And we're four days out from the next town."

The seated one cracked the barest of smiles. "I do not doubt your ability to survive four days with a hole in your hat, Hazel."

The one named Hazel groaned.

*

The moon shone down on another road. A figure dressed primarily in red staggered down the road, glancing this way and that in confusion. Finally, he fell over in disgust.

"And just when I was looking forward to a good fight," he complained at the moon. "Just when something was going right in my miserable life. Integra doesn't love me, Seras is making cow eyes at that Pip fellow, and Walter... Walter's just too old!"

A shadow fell over him.

"I don't love you?" Integra Hellsing said, raising an eyebrow.

"Damn," Alucard muttered. "I knew it was a bad day."

END

Fics Notes: Written for the 'first line' meme challenge that has been circulating on LJ. The first line was taken off Solaas's When the Moon is in the Sky fic.