PART ONE
During the last few months leading up to the end of the Journey West, it was summarily noted by all involved parties that one Genjyo Sanzou, high priest, emissary of the gods and resident posterboy for impractical black lingerie, had become as of late rather...twitchy.
‘Twitchy’ was Goku’s word for it. Hakkai, being Hakkai and therefore unfailingly, tactfully polite (unless Gojyo was missing and Sanzo demanding coffee), called it ‘a slight preoccupation.’ An understandable one, unremarkable, perhaps inevitable, and really not something worth bothering the man over.
Gojyo called it fucking hilarious, mostly because he had picked up on it first. A playboy such as himself, experienced connoisseur of all the dynamics and intricacies of Sex and Other Things Vaguely Related, Such As Love, could recognize the look of unrequited infatuation from fifteen miles away.
Sanzo had a crush.
Not that it was much of a crush, mind you. Sanzo didn’t do crushes. There were no mooning calf eyes at the mention of a name, no half desperate interrogations of his closest companions at to whether they thought he had a chance with this person, no private, personal smiles brought on by the random firing of synapses to bring a face into view of the mind’s eye. It was not even evidenced by the usual accompanying sexual frustration and suffered abstinence. The monkey had (finally) matured to the point where Sanzo would allow him in his bed, leaving Hakkai and Gojyo to their own devices on rainy nights (and some clear) when formerly the monk would use one or the other or both to keep his mind off the past or just to vent. It was hard work being a Sanzo. Harder work being Genjyo Sanzo on this stupid mission surrounded by stupid people and forced to deal constantly with stupid situations.
Goku was more than happy to provide distraction in place of his two older companions, who, to the surprise of no one, fell easily in step with the routine of screwing each other silly instead of the monk. It had been an inevitable for them, just like the inevitability of Goku growing up and wanting (maybe deserving?) something more grown up in the way of affection from his guardian. He labored under no illusions, however. Even if he loved Sanzo (and he did), Hakkai had explained (and the blond aptly demonstrated) that Sanzo really was an emotional retard, and would never love Goku back the way normal people did, and if he still wanted the intimacy (and he did, very much) then Goku would have to learn to live with the bizarre Sanzo method of returning love, which seemed to involve very satisfying sex and peaceful nights but insults, gunshots, and harisen attacks during the daylight hours. To put it bluntly, no matter what happened behind closed doors, in the morning it would be as if nothing had changed.
Hakkai said he would get used to it, as he and Gojyo had. One could love Sanzo without being in love with him, and that was the best way because while Sanzo could and was capable of loving someone back in his own sadistic style, he appeared entirely incapable of ever actually being in love. With anyone.
That had held true until Sanzo started watching the moon at night.
Now moon-watching was not, despite the sentimentality (read: wussiness) of its title, a particularly odd activity for Sanzo to participate in. All of them had been guilty of it at some time or another in the past. Especially Sanzo and Hakkai. Something to do with tragic pasts and insurmountable guilt and the brooding insomnia brought on by both. However, all four of them had eventually gotten over the angst habit, or at least gotten over it a little bit, due to the judicious insertion of carnal intercourse into their nightly schedules. It was very difficult to lay awake and brood with the solid, comforting warmth of someone else at your back or pressed against your side or draped all over you. Not to mention brooding was usually cancelled out by the prospect of sleep, as exhaustion naturally followed any sort of vigorous exercise. And theirs was very vigorous.
No, the odd thing about Sanzo’s habit was that he started to do it without angsting or sulking. He would slip out from under the arm of whoever happened to be sharing his bed (and stealing his covers and drooling on his pillow, the bastards) and stand or sit silently at the window, sometimes lighting a cigarette, sometimes not. Sometimes he would only stay for a moment, sometimes for ten minutes, sometimes an hour, letting the moonlight pour over him in a silver cascade, watching the night sky as if he hoped to decipher some sort of personal message hidden amidst the arrangement of the stars.
There were varying reactions to the habit. Hakkai would often wake as soon as Sanzo moved, preternaturally sensitive even in slumber, and especially so to Sanzo’s particular aura. Hakkai never said anything, out of polite courtesy or respect or mockery or maybe even understanding. Hakkai would lay quietly without comment or action until Sanzo came back to his arms of his own accord or left the room. Goku would get up and go to him, try and coax him back to bed with mouth and hands (and it was true what they said about the clever hands of monkeys), or otherwise simply slip his wiry arms around the man’s waist and press his cheek against pale, sculptured muscle. Goku craved the contact more than he did sleep or even acknowledgement, so it didn’t matter much to him if Sanzo stayed up watching the moon without speaking as long as he didn’t push Goku away.
Gojyo inquired snarkily if Sanzo had taken up astronomy. In response the half breed got a bullet so close to his temple it severed a few strands of crimson hair.
Out of all of them, in the end it was Jiipu who got the actual explanation for Sanzo’s sudden lunar fascination.
“Only a self-important idiot would have hair the color of moonlight,” Sanzo told the little dragon while everyone else was off Doing Other Things. He sat on the windowsill, watching the moonrise. He spoke scathingly.
“Thinking he’ll outshine me.... Keh. Asshole. I should have killed him.”
“Pii,” said Jiipu, blinking bright ruby eyes.
Sanzo’s own violet were unreadable. “It was a mistake to leave him behind me on the road,” he said softly, then stopped. There was double meaning in that statement he hadn’t intended.
“Pii?”
“....I need a cigarette.” He got up and left. And that was that.
Nearly a month later, Goku came up with the ‘twitchy’ thing and stupidly confronted Sanzo with it. It took a damn long time for obvious pieces of evidence to coagulate in monkey brains, Gojyo decided. After all, he’d figured it out several weeks ago.
“You are too twitchy!” Goku asserted, and yelped as the harisen descended on his head with a CRACK!! Gojyo winced reflexively. Goku avoided the next strike, clutching his head and ducking behind Hakkai.
“Say that again and I’ll kill you,” Sanzo growled dangerously. “I am NOT. TWITCHY.”
Goku poked his head out. “Are too and hitting me isn’t going to change it!” He’d gotten a lot mouthier somehow with his newfound height and *cough* maturity, the last currently not on display, or maybe it was just that he appeared to believe that sleeping with the monk ought to equate Sanzo finally listening to his opinions. Sanzo did not share this belief.
Huge golden eyes glared defensively. The boy who was not a boy had defiance written all over his face, along with self-righteous conviction and sheer, stubborn determination. And maybe there was also a little confusion there as well, over what, precisely, his self-righteous conviction actually was. Goku’s dislike of secrets (and he knew, just knew Sanzo was hiding something) warred with a greater dislike of believing Sanzo would keep any from him. Any really important ones, anyway.
“Ahaha,” Hakkai the mediator said, bringing into play one of his tactical weapons, the Laugh That Was Not a Laugh But Rather a Word, And a Warning To Boot. “Now, Sanzo, Goku hardly means any offense.” I have a headache too, Hakkai’s flat green eyes said over the polite smile, and you are not helping by encouraging him to argue and screech.
Sanzo, his mouth tightening ever so slightly, apparently chose to ignore the warning, which was a Bad Thing when it made Hakkai’s gaze go all flat and diamond hard like that. Goku was still squalling like a wet cat and oblivious of the danger he was in by being closest in proximity to a Hakkai At The End of His Patience. Gojyo might have felt moved to intercede, were he not a firm believer in self preservation.
“I don’t give a shit what he means.” Sanzo lunged for the boy, eliciting another loud squawk (and subsequent wince from the headache victim). Goku vacated his extremely dangerous ‘haven’ behind a quietly smoldering Hakkai and dashed for the open door. Sanzo snagged the trailing edge of a half cape and yanked; Goku was nearly jerked backwards off his feet until Sanzo’s other hand caught up with his shoulder. Momentum carried them both out into the hallway to impact against the wall. Further sounds of scuffling thus ensued. A door slammed shut. Hakkai and Gojyo pretended not to notice the location of said door coinciding exactly with the location of the door to Sanzo and Goku’s bedroom. Perhaps the monk had gotten the hint after all. There really was only one absolutely effective way of shutting Goku up.
Hakkai let out the breath he’d been holding and closed his eyes against the fluorescent glare of the overhead light.
“Kid’s got a point,” Gojyo observed after a moment.
One emerald green eye cracked open to give him a Look.
Gojyo grinned. “Twitchy.”
Hakkai couldn’t help it. He started chuckling. It was a soft, unstrained sound that, to Gojyo’s admittedly biased ear, put the most beautiful of music to shame.
“Ah, but life is full of irony.” The redhead got up and strolled around to the back of his best friend’s chair.
“Oh?” Hakkai had to bite back an utterly undignified moan of pleasure as strong, knowing hands dug into the knots in his shoulders.
“Well, I guess it makes as much sense as the monkey growing a brain stem. ”
“....I assume you’re talking about Sanzo.”
As was his habit, Gojyo leaned down to breathe his words in Hakkai’s ear, enjoying the shiver it caused. “Who would have thought, huh?”
Hakkai smiled despite his headache. “Children grow up. Some of them just take a little longer than others to figure everything out. And, they say the heart is always the last thing to mature.” He stopped talking with a sudden indrawn breath. Gojyo’s talented hands had moved from his painfully knotted shoulders (although he could hardly feel that anymore) and were concentrated now on something that suddenly ached far worse.
“Mm. Think so?” Gojyo’s voice was lazy and purring and not at all trustworthy behind him.
Hakkai twisted around in the chair to face the other man, only the faintest trace of blush on his high cheekbones. “Gojyo...”
“Shut up. I’ve got a better headache remedy than silence and that nasty bitter tea you brew for hangovers.” And he did.
Another door slammed shut.
****
OUTTAKES
[Scene: SANZO confessing or whatever to JIIPU]
SANZO: It was a mistake to leave him behind me on the road.
JIIPU: Pii?
SANZO: ....I seriously need to get laid.
[Scene: HAKKAI and GOJYO listen to SANZO and GOKU’S scuffle in the hallway]
SANZO: (muffled cursing)
GOKU: (equally muffled) It’s a push door, not pull, you moron.
[Take Two: HAKKAI and GOJYO listen to SANZO and GOKU’S scuffle in the hallway]
GOJYO: (catcall) Whoo, you go boy! Spank that monkey! ....heeeey, does that mean when the kid jacks off it’s a monkey spanking a monkey...?
HAKKAI: (firmly) Gojyo, can you please try and focus?
GOJYO: Right right. Your monkey is the issue at hand. My bad.
[Take Three: HAKKAI and GOJYO listen to SANZO and GOKU’S scuffle in the hallway]
[door slam]
GOJYO: (howl) NOOKIE! (tackles HAKKAI onto the bed and molests him)
SANZO: (walks in suddenly) O______O ...THE FUCK?!
GOJYO: o__o That was quick. Thought you’d be busy for at least fifteen minutes with the monkey.
SANZO: =.= I locked him in his room to punish him, you filthy minded retard.
GOJYO: Oh.
[moment of silence]
HAKKAI: ....it’s impolite to stare, Sanzo-san.
GOJYO: Yeah, either go away or join in.
SANZO: (seethe) ..... (joins in)
