At the end of the world, there is light, and then pain.
Stabbing agony, quick and bright, and then gone as if it had never been. It hurts more afterwards to simply breathe. As if it is not the weapon or the wound in his chest that is killing him, but the rest of his body trying to function around them. He slumps against the gate pillar and doesn't even attempt to breathe shallowly. The pain is welcome, familiar, even for a god, and he will cling to it in gratitude. One should savor the final moments before death.
Every slowing heartbeat brings him closer to his.
He calls softly to Rinrei in his mind, imagining her smile backlit by a field of yellow flowers. Was this how it had felt for her? For Zenon and Shien?
Something to ask if he finds them again after the darkness. Something to apologize for, if he is given the chance. But he has lived too long to believe any further in miracles. The gods save no one, cannot even save themselves.
There is no salvation for him. No redemption. His chance to strike back at the petty filth of Heaven, to break his chains and drown the world in fire, died when a certain ill tempered priest reclaimed his pet from the mindless rage of the Seiten Taisei. Konzen had no more reason to love this world than he did, no more reason to protect it than he did. But the monk and his companions had still taken the field in opposition.
Konzen would do such a thing just to be contrary. Or otherwise...
He wonders how early in the game the blond had discerned his true objective.
Freedom. Freedom from all things, from his memories, from his duty, and from his own deficiencies. Freedom from the questions of identity and self worth. Free from his failures and the heavy, weighted spiral of his own future that had nowhere to go but down.
Such a thing can be bought for an easy, easy price, he knows. His own standards are high, he will accept death only from the greatest warrior in the world, but the process is still a simple, uncomplicated thing. One furious punch to collapse his chest and lungs. One slash from the razored claws of the Seiten Taisei to tear his throat out.
One strike from the nyoi-bo to stop his heart.
His life is cheap. He pays the cost gladly and waits for paradise, now almost within his reach.
The boy with golden eyes watches him with anguish, confusion clear on his too young face, not understanding how someone could smile at the inevitability of encroaching death. He doesn't bother to explain. Instead he looks up painfully to meet the monk's cool violet gaze over Son Goku's head.
Konzen will understand. Konzen won't let the boy cry for him.
For the first time in their staring matches, Sanzo is the one to look away, conceding victory. The priest knows the kind of selfishness that drives one to seek absolution above all else, at the expense of others, pursued relentlessly in any way possible. It lives in his own heart, and he understands why a dying man would smile with gratitude at his own murderer.
At the end of the world there is light, and then darkness.
Homura closes his eyes, content.
