And out of sheer perversity, I reopened Pandora’s box. And lo! There was another manuscript, previously unspotted. And being Bored, I did break from work on The Journal to transcribe it. It is a little known tale of a period of great terror and fear, that did appear to take place half a millenia before The Journal. *cue gasp of awed wonder*

"Konzen! Konzen-Konzen-KONZEN!"

The great halls of Heaven echoed with the panicked cries of one youngster who was currently doing a good imitation of a speeding comet... completely with wet and muddy trail. "KONZEN!!!"

Doors opened in his wake, as curious onlookers ... looked on.

"Konzen!!! Where are you?!!"

One door in the corridor slammed open, and as the child rushed by, a hand shot out and grabbed him by the collar.

"Yikes!" Goku screeched, as he was lifted bodily into the air and dragged into the room. The door slammed hurriedly behind him, and there was the sound of a dozen locks clicking and no fewer than three heavy bars being lowered into place.

"KONZEN!!!" Goku yelled, kicking wildly. "Lemme go! I need to find Konzen!"

"Shush," a voice said, and a meatbun was shoved into his mouth. The cries promptly went silent.

"Phew." A man in the uniform of the Western Army turned from the door, and turned back to face the other two occupents of the room. One, a young boy, no older than ten, was currently eating his way through Mount Meatbuns. Heavy chains around his wrists and ankles clanged as he munched, apparently providing no impediment to his motion whatsoever.

The other was dressed in a predominantly off-white labcoat. Light glinted off his spectacles as he looked up. "That was a close call, Kenren."

"They weren’t too far behind. Think you can keep this one quiet?"

"I wonder," the other said contemplatively, glancing at the pile of rapidly diminishing meatbuns. "Perhaps if you could retrieve a few volumes of Super Manjuu-man from the next room..."

The one named Kenren snorted and flung his hands into the air. "Find anything in that mess? Shall I retrieve the moon for you while I’m at it?"

"I have no use for the Moon. Alternatively, you could brave the corridors in an attempt to find Konzen."

There was a long pause.

"Tough one," Kenren said at last. "But I think I’d rather brave your mess." With the air of a man about to die, he steeled himself and stepped into the next room.

Goku looked up from the meatbun he was massacring. "But Ten-chan, we need to find Konzen! He needs to be warned!"

"No doubt he will find out about it in his own time," Tenpou replied soothingly. "Once the coast is clear, Ken-niichan and I will depart in search of him." Like any good commanding officer, Tenpou was remarkably skilled in the art of lying through his teeth.

"But...." Goku’s reply was cut off as Tenpou shoved another meatbun into his mouth and motioned him to be silent. In the next room, Kenren looked up at sharply and dived for cover behind Tenpou’s sofas. There was a muffled scream as several shelves worth of books fell on him.

The room darkened perceptibly as the lights dimmed, flickered, and went out. The air turned cold and a ghastly silence draped itself around the room and yawned lazily.

They waited in tense anticipation. Goku’s eyes were as wide as flying saucers. Tenpou’s were narrowed to mere slits. Kenren’s, if they were visible under the pile, were squeezed shut in pain.

They waited some more.

Goku sneezed.

The ghastly silence awoke with a start, and morphed into a caterwaul that started from the far end of the corridor and came hurtling down towards them. The sonic boom crashed into the windows, causing them to burst asunder. Tenpou looked upon the breach in horror, as what seemed like a million elephants came stomping down the corridor, trumpeting as they went.

His shock cost him, as he was too late to hide from the prying eyes glared in through what had previously been a one-way window. Red beady eyes fixed on him and Goku, and a cry went up, a jubilant screech that turned his spine to ice. More cries answered, like a billion fingernails being scratched across a blackboard.

"Taishou, it seems as if we have to make a heroic last stand," Tenpou said, pushing Goku aside and reaching for his sword. He sighed as he drew and spun it, stretching arm muscles and testing it’s balance, then settled his hands on its familiar grip as he turned to face the assault.

And the fell creatures poured through the broken windows and descended upon them.

*

Konzen was in a frenzy. The news that Heaven was under assault had reached him when his young charge was out visiting Nataku. Now said charge was no where in sight, and in the chaos that was the evacuation of Heaven, no one seemed to know where he was.

Konzen fought his way through the crowd with grim determination, plowing his way against the tide going the other way. He had a sinking feeling that he knew exactly where Goku was, that was right smack bang in the middle of trouble. The thought of abandoning the child to his own devices and fleeing for his life and his immortal soul flashed through his mind, but he pushed it aside. Not even Litouten deserved to be left to these foul creatures.

The corridors were empty of people now, and the acrid stench that hung in the air told him that he was near his goal. Trying not to faint from the miasma, he crept forward as steathily as a 2m figure wearing white and gold and high heels could.

At least he wasn’t wearing the purple outfit today.

To his amazement, next corridor was empty. He’d expected to find them here, crowding around a certain doorway. They had certainly been here, but ... perhaps they had passed on. Perhaps Goku had made it to safety after all.

He stepped forward and opened the door.

And the Fangurls pounced.

*

"Hello Konzen," a chirpy voice said, as the blackness slowly gave way. Shaking his head to dispel the bright stars still exploding in his vision, Konzen looked up. And gaped. And promptly shut his eyes again. "Marshall," he ground out, "Could you and Kenren Taishou please put on some clothes?"

"I’m afraid that our current state of undress is not ... exactly... of our own choice. Apparently, these creatures have a thing for voyeurism."

"When they’re not trying to bed us, that is!!!" Kenren’s irate voice sounded.

"You have nothing to complain about," Tenpou said icily.

There was a screech of "Tenpou Gensui!!!!!!!!!!!!!", a cry of horror from the typically imperturbable Marshall of the Western Armies, and a thud. Konzen risked cracking an eye open to see a monstrosity of electric pink hair and neon green attire dragging Tenpou away by one heel. The Marshall looked absolutely terrified.

"They’ve been at this for hours," Kenren moaned. "Apparently they believe that we have limitless stamina..."

"Did you fight back?" Konzen growled, massaging his aching head.

Kenren eyeballed him. "The combined armies of Heaven couldn’t take on this lot. One of them turned Tenpou’s sword to butter with a look, and I got knocked out by their foul stench even before I got within striking distance. Anyway, I was already blinded by all the glitter."

Another creature swept in, preceded by the overpowering smell of what might have been flowers in another universe. Konzen gagged and promptly passed out.

*

When he came to, Kenren was gone, but Tenpou was back, and huddling in a corner. "Big green things," Tenpou babbled, "Shiny pretty green things...."

"Where’s Goku?" Konzen asked sharply, recalling his original mission.

Tenpou gave him a sad look. "I know not. They took him away."

Konzen shot to his feet. "And you let them?"

"There was nothing I could do!"

"Damnit!" Konzen swirled and headed for the door-- and promptly found himself face to face with brilliant scarlet hair interwoven with psychedelic and scintillating jewels of every imaginable color (and many unimaginable ones.)

"Konzen-sama!" the creature screeched, and glomped him before he could scream and run in terror.

*

Elsewhere, Goku was having better luck. After the initial soul-searing terror had worn off, and after the initial drooling had stopped (on the creature’s part, that was, not his) they’d seemed content to feed him. He’d discovered that the wide-eyed, innocent look worked particularly well. A dozen of them had passed out when he gave it to them. The rest seemed particularly delighted, and would conjure up more meatbuns for him.

"Where’s Konzen?" he asked. "I need to see Konzen!"

One creature tittered. "He’ll be here soon." Her voice sounded like a crystal drops falling to the ground and shattering. If he listened hard enough, Goku could almost hear the shrieks of agony as passersby stepped on the shards. "Don’t worry, cutsie," she continued. "You’ll be reunited with your love soon." Another titter that made Goku clap his hands over his ears. The creature attempted to flutter her eyelashes at him, but they fell off.

"My love?" Goku yelped.

"Admit it," the creature sidled forward, and Goku found himself backtracking rapidly. "Konzen is the light of your life, your sun--" a dramatic sigh here "--the person you would die for. And in defiance of Heaven, both of you are secret lovers..." another dramatic sigh, one that rocked the walls "...the god and the heretic. Isn’t that just romantic?"

"Ha," another creature snorted. "Give me the smut." She bobbed forward, leering at Goku. Saliva dripped off fangs. "So who’s on top? And do you take off that limiter while you’re screwing him? Huh? Huh?"

Goku blanched in terror. He hardly understood the insane babblings of these creatures, yet what he understood was enough to make him want to flee back to earth and never come back. He thought quickly. "Look... I know where Konzen is. I can go and look for him!" he suggested.

The first creature seemed delighted. "Why of course! You would know where he is... you’re soul-bonded, after all! Why, that would save us so much trouble! We’ve been hunting up and down Heaven, but this place is so ... huge." A delicate sigh.

"Aw shit, cut the crap," the other creature said. "But hell yeah, that’s a good idea. Run ape. Go look for your fuck buddy."

My what?!! Goku thought, but scrambled to his head and headed for the door. The two creatures followed.

*

To be continued.