Part 1 - Penny wise is pound foolish
"What do we need toilet paper for?" Sanzo grumbled. He was already in a bad mood because Hakkai had insisted that he, and not one of the other idiots, accompany him on the supply run.
"Sanzo," Hakkai said in that polite yet insistent voice of his that made Sanzo's trigger finger itch because it said things that were so reasonable that he couldn't object to them, "do you remember what happened the last time one of us used leaves to wipe with?"
The pervy kappa's dance had certainly been entertaining, though Sanzo had been forced to clap his hands over Goku's eyes to shield him from the image of Gojyo furiously scrabbling at his ass to relieve the burning itch caused by wiping himself with poison sumac. The man displayed no consideration for the sensibilities of others.
It would have been even more entertaining to watch him suffer and listen to him swear as they traveled in the Jeep. He would have savored whacking Gojyo with the harisen for making a fuss. But Hakkai had taken pity on him and dragged him into the woods to heal him instead.
Sanzo didn't want to think about what else they might have been up to while they were gone. When they returned, Gojyo was grinning from ear-to-ear and Hakkai's hair was unkempt. Judging from the bits of leaves caught in it, Hakkai's hair probably needed shampooing as well.
"Tch," Sanzo spat out, "do what you like." You're going to anyway, he thought to himself.
Hakkai smiled at him. He probably knew exactly what Sanzo had been thinking, the bastard. "Thank you," he said, and put the toilet paper in the cart.