Maybe it was the heat. It was too fucking hot to listen to common sense and people decided to carry out the most stupid ideas without giving them a second thought. Or perhaps he was just horny. Who knew.
“Hey, Hakkai.”
Gojyo leaned in the frame of the kitchen door and spoke while his neat-freak of a roomie did whatever he spent his days doing in the fucking kitchen. This time it looked like a salad.
“Yes, Gojyo?”
The redhead licked a bead of sweat from his upper lip.
“You know…” Slowly, his lanky figure pulled away from the doorframe and sauntered more than walked towards the back of his industrious housemate, “last night I jerked off thinking about you.”
The stillness that followed that statement was so thick it could have been chewed. Calmly, as if he was being especially careful not to lose it, Hakkai finally turned towards his tall roommate and of all things, he chuckled.
“I’m sorry, Gojyo, I don’t think I heard you correctly; if you would be so kind, could you say it again?”
Keeping himself pretty close, but not enough to invade Hakkai’s delicate sense of personal space, Gojyo obliged.
“I said that I jerked off thinking about you last night.” This time Hakkai didn’t chuckle. “I mean, don’t take it the wrong way, man, but it just popped into my mind in the middle of it and well… it happened.” He then added, defensively, “not that I’m queer or anything… I just wanted to tell you.”
Again the quiet pervaded the room as both housemates stared at each other for a long, long while. Longer than Gojyo had even thought he could stand still.
“Oh,” was finally Hakkai’s reply. Then, as an afterthought, he repeated “oh.” He turned quietly back and resumed the washing of the lettuce.
That wasn’t exactly what Gojyo had expected. Or more accurately, what he had hoped for. Hakkai was easy to predict in normal conditions, but Gojyo knew better than to try and expect anything when he kicked the normally calm man out of his routine. And that had been a damn good kick. The redhead took a deep breath, and slowly, with what he madly hoped was a self-confident and seductive attitude, braced his outstretched arms against the sink, leaving Hakkai’s body encased between his tall figure and the lettuce he was so carefully cleaning under the tap. The half-breed took special care in not touching his roommate in any way, knowing perfectly well that the other would be able to feel his body heat and to smell his scent as easily as he was catching Hakkai’s. Gods, he could only hope he smelled half as good as him. Half as familiar. Half as fuckable. Half as like home.
“You know…” he whispered against three silver ear cuffs, “it would be pretty to say that I was just imagining your soul, your heart… I dunno, all that stuff girls are always so eager to hear...” Hakkai’s hands had stilled and the water flowed uselessly down the drain as Gojyo’s hot breath caressed the sweaty skin of his neck, his nape, his ear. “But the fact is that I was daydreaming about you on your knees, naked, sucking me dry.”
Gojyo blocked out the feeling of Hakkai’s body trembling so close to his, ignored his ragged breathing, the sound of his throat as he swallowed hard, his tense back still turned to him… the redhead just forced himself to keep speaking sultrily, changing the ear he was directing his words at and letting his nose brush softly against Hakkai’s soft hair.
“And you can’t… oh gods…” Gojyo closed his eyes and half moaned, “you have no idea how good it felt, how fucking great it was…” Slowly, he opened his eyes again, burning red and fixed upon the glistening skin of Hakkai’s nape. “How hot you were. You are.”
The half-breed inhaled, taking air shakily nearly at the same time as Hakkai did.
“And it’s so fucking strange, man…” Gojyo frowned, still staring at the same sweaty expansion of tempting skin on his roommate’s neck, fighting to understand what he had already asked himself so many times before, “because, you know… I don’t do guys. Really, I don’t. I’m not into… well, that stuff. I love boobs, boobs love me… not to mention pussies. Oh, gods, those sweet little pieces of heaven…” He was straying and he knew it, but it was important that he left it clear, even if he did lose his cool. “I’m allergic to dicks that aren’t mine, that’s it. And for that reason, for that…” He paused to look for words that wouldn’t come. He had already broken the mood, all his plans and rehearsed speech flushed down the toilet. Now he was nervous and ached for touching Hakkai. In any way. Just to be sure they were both still there. More or less. Oh, gods… “For that reason… I can’t understand why I can’t stop wondering about yours. And mine. And both of them in the same hand, or in each other’s mouths or… or… well, you grasp the general idea already, don’t you? And for that reason… for that reason I think…” He kicked himself and forced his lips to spit it out already “…I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you.”
Finally. That had been like going into labour and finally bearing… something. Well, he supposed. Fuck, it was time to flee. And fast. What the fuck had he been expecting? ‘Oh, really, Gojyo, please, let me suck your cock?’ Gods, the heat must have really fried his brain. Or whatever he had instead. Oh, Gods.
Horribly self-conscious now and totally at a loss for what to do, Gojyo chose the safe, familiar path: run for the nearest bar. But before he even drew back and removed his hands from the sink, he indulged himself, if only once, and kissed that stupidly sexy nape he had been staring at for the last five minutes. Or ten. Or one hundred, who knew. He then turned hastily back and strode out of the house, in the meanwhile licking, nipping and sucking at his own lips that now tasted like Hakkai’s skin.
-----------------------
Much later, when the sun had already set, even if the temperature hadn’t dropped a single degree, Hakkai walked into the bar. It took him a while to find Gojyo, who normally preferred the bar to the booths, but who was now half sitting at, half lying upon a table in the corner, idly stroking a glass with his index finger while he stared into nothing and simply pouted at the world.
“You make a most adorable drunk,” Hakkai gently commented as he reached the table and took a seat.
“ ‘m a most pate…pathi…pa…” Giving up, Gojyo mumbled, “Lame drunk an’I knowit.”
“Not the best moment to talk to you, I gather, but nonetheless – and if you haven’t been vomiting – would you be too appalled if I kissed you?”
Ignoring all the boring and unintelligible stuff that Hakkai used to utter, especially when Gojyo was in the worst condition to understand, the hanyou tried to decipher the last part. Was that an hallucination? Was Hakkai laughing at him? What the fuck had he been drinking? Gojyo looked for the bottle and squinted to read the label. Tequila. He couldn’t decide if he should never try the stuff again or drink it more often. Just in case he wasn’t delirious, he tried to sit up and concentrate really hard in sorting out if the guy in front of him a) was really real, b) was really a guy, c) was really Hakkai, d) was really serious. He checked the bottle again for good measure and said the most intelligent thing he was able under the circumstances.
“Whawt?”
“May I kiss you?”
Oh, Gods, the guy was smiling so hard he had his eyes nearly closed. He was Hakkai, then.
“Err… here?”
He realized it was the wrong answer immediately after the words were out. The smile on Hakkai’s face was no indication (the man had that thing tamed to obedience), but he just knew, fucking knew, that would shoo the skittish man away. In fact, Hakkai was starting to stand up to go, and apologize or something equally Hakkaish, but even with undermined reflexes and his mind in a haze of alcohol, Gojyo knew it was coming and tried to be faster. He grabbed Hakkai’s wrist and looked up at him. Just like a lost dog. Like a lost man.
“Please…”
Hakkai didn’t dare to interpret the pleading and Gojyo couldn’t be sure if he himself understood. Just in case, the drunken man softly elaborated, red eyes still fixed on Hakkai’s.
“Yeah, please…” he swallowed, prominent Adam’s apple going up and down, “...k’ssme.”
Hakkai’s plastic smile had fallen off as soon as Gojyo had taken his wrist. Now he truly looked as confused as he felt. As scared. He gently reminded the redhead:
“Your hand,” at Gojyo’s blank stare, he pointed with his eyes towards his caught limb and explained, “I need you to remove it.”
Not as fast as he would have being sober, the half-breed finally understood and released his partner’s arm. Trying to mumble an apology, staring really hard at the table, the redhead missed the approach of Hakkai’s hands until they were already cupping his face. He lifted his hazy eyes to meet the ones of his housemate, or his lips, or his damned monocle and false smile, whatever, but suddenly he was too close to see and all he could feel was Hakkai’s mouth on his, and he suddenly hoped, nearly as hard as he had hoped for his mother to love him and his brother to stay, that he really hadn’t thrown up earlier this day.
The stupid things that come to mind in the important moments…
Hakkai’s lips were soft and gentle as they moved against his, as they touched and nibbled and were simply there, while the thumbs on his cheeks gingerly caressed his skin. Gojyo focused really hard in not fucking this up. In keeping his hands to himself and his tongue in his mouth and not in Hakkai’s as he drank from the kiss just like he had drank earlier from the bottle. Because Hakkai was just as dizzying, but tasted far better. Oh, gods…
Slowly, reluctantly, they finally pulled apart, Gojyo dreading what was to come, Hakkai licking unconsciously his lips, as if checking the taste.
How hot you were. You are.
“Gojyo…”
“Ngh?”
“Shall we go home?”
The redhead opened his mouth to reply and closed it again. He tried anew.
“I… I’d really love to, but ‘mnot ssure I can…” Before unease and uncertainty settled in Hakkai’s features as they were already beginning to, he explained further, “I mean… not wizout help.”
“Oh. Ok,” this relationship crap was going to be hard, Gojyo just knew it. “Lean on me, then.” Hakkai passed a long and gangly arm around his own shoulders and lifted some of Gojyo’s weight for him, pressing both of their bodies flush together in the process. Maybe this relationship crap wasn’t so bad, Gojyo permitted himself to hope. Or maybe it was just the heat, that made the craziest things look reasonable and even made them work out in the end. Or perhaps… perhaps he was just horny. Who knew.