Hakkai regained partial awareness to the sound of the water rushing over rocks, a muted roar louder than the static in his own ears. His thoughts drifted, lost in the formless pattern of that white noise.  It was dark here, in the semi-conscious recesses of his mind.  Yes, and comfortable.  A good place to stay.  Much better, he knew, than what waited for him once he came fully awake.  Yes, stay here.  Stay here and drift, and maybe you'll go back to sleep again.  It was such a calming, peaceful sleep.... 

Only...there was a wrongness, a creeping shadow to the air around him, to the ki within him, that invaded and interrupted the patterns of his subconscious thoughts.  Some part of him recognized that shadow for what it was, and he knew that it would continue its stealthy progression until it closed over him, suffocating him and drowning him completely.  His innate resistance was not enough to hold it at bay.  The only way to fight it was to let himself become fully aware, and hope that his conscious defenses would hold up under that slow and deliberate assault.  

The grayness fell away from him.  His thoughts focused.  ...And pain descended on him with crippling intensity.  Nnnnnh.  He hurt.  Each shallow breath raked his throat, burned in his lungs, and caused sharp jolts of fire in his chest.  It felt like he'd been run over by a truck.  The change in the rhythm of Hakkai's breathing as he woke caused something to catch in his lungs.  It triggered a coughing jag as his body sought to rid itself of the residual river water that he'd swallowed. The liquid that splashed onto the pale, smooth stones of the bank where he lay came up the color of blood, and the coughing fit itself nearly made him black out again.  I think I've broken something, he thought with hazy alarm, slumping helplessly against the ground as the paroxysm subsided.  I think I may, in fact, have broken a lot of things....

He was lying in the shallows of the river, half-in, half-out of the water.  The rushing noise behind him marked a place where the banks widened, and the current frothed itself into yet another patch of white water over huge rocks.  There had been several such places on the river...but the rocks along this stretch had been placed there by a recent landslide, and their jagged edges had an even greater potential to kill. Hakkai couldn't remember how he had avoided them--had collapsed from the physical strain and from his injuries once he reached the shallows.  Even here, he was not completely out of danger.  Cold fingers of the current stirred around him, lapping at his soaked clothing.  The river was fed from run-off from the ice they had seen on the white peaks of these mountains.  The water was freezing.  He would get hypothermia if he continued to lie here like this.

"Pii, Pii?" The familiar chirping noise came from somewhere next to his head, and a shadow fell between him and the sun.  A small patch of warm air fanned against his skin, and a moment later, a scaly nose butted against his face.  Jeep.  Hakkai blinked, as the small white form slowly came into focus before his eyes.

He unprepared for the consequences of the sight of the dragon so near--caught by surprise as the dark shadow that he had sensed earlier suddenly struck, flowing over his defenses and wrapping the core of his being with coils of tainted power. Hakkai had a single moment of fear, as he felt that power warp the flow of ki within him out of true.  Then that fear was gone, swallowed up as dark emotions woke from deep within him, an insatiable hunger and a burning hatred for all life. 

With narrowed eyes, he focused intently on the small white animal that had been foolish enough to disturb him.  His lips skinned back from long youkai fangs in a cruel smile.  Such a tiny thing.  He would kill it a heartbeat, and strip the flesh from its bones to appease the hunger that consumed him.  He flexed the talons of his right hand, loosening them from where they had been driven knuckle-deep in the smooth stones of the beach when he'd first pulled himself onto the bank. His left arm, lying underneath him, didn't work.  But that hardly mattered for such small prey.  The little dragon didn't move.  It didn't realize how close it stood to death.  Stupid creature. 

With a snarl of malice, he struck.  Blinding pain traveled the length of his arm as a torn muscle in his shoulder screamed in protest.  It fouled his aim, causing his hand to fall just wide of his intended target.  But the points of his long, sharp talons still hit.  The little dragon floundered backwards, keening.  Four gashes stood out in stark crimson across the pristine white scales of its chest.

The surge of physical pain from his shoulder momentarily loosened the destructive imperative of the Minus Wave, and shocked Hakkai back to himself. The foul taint created by the forbidden combination of magic and science seethed around him--crawling over his skin, creeping into his lungs, and invading his mind with the dark aura of anger and hunger and hatred. It fed on the agony caused by his injuries, sought to slip through cracks in the defenses that in his weakened state he was unable to maintain.  It would rob him of his reason and his sanity, tearing apart his self-awareness until nothing of Hakkai remained.

No.  Hakkai teetered on the edge of that dark precipice, as the Minus Wave sought to overpower him again.  His resolve hardened.  He would not let it claim him without a fight.  There were only two defenses against the Minus Wave--willpower, and a strong sense of self.  Hakkai had both.  He reached deep within, flinching only slightly as he was forced to acknowledge and embrace the identity that formed the core of his being.  I am Cho Hakkai.  I have faced madness before.  It cost me my humanity and my life as Gonou.  I cannot allow it to take the life of Hakkai as well.

In response to his will, the flow of ki steadied within him and the taint of the Minus Wave retreated.  It did not go far, but settled around him, occupying the fringes of his mind.  It wasn't going anywhere.  It was everywhere.  All it had to do was exist, curled around his mental barriers, its touch scoring like acid.  It would slowly erode those walls over time, until Hakkai's already overtaxed defenses were no longer able to hold it at bay.

Breath left him in a rush as Hakkai sagged against the riverbank, trembling with reaction and feeling hollow inside.  He let his gaze wander toward the hand resting on the stones by his face.  There was no mistaking the dark pattern snaking around his flesh--the winding tendrils of vines and leaves that wound around his entire body and marked his youkai form. My limiters.  Hakkai had removed them of his own free will when he had fallen from the cliff, when he had looked down at the river far below and known with unshakable certainty that he wasn't going to hit the water, he was going to hit the rocks.  The magic-induced human form that he assumed when he wore his limiters would have shattered like glass at the impact.  Youkai were tougher, more resilient, and Hakkai knew without arrogance that he was tougher than most.  But it had been a very, very long way down.

Then his mind registered the crimson coating the tips of those razor sharp claws.  His breath caught in his throat.  No.

Hakkai's frantic gaze scanned the rocks, settling on a spot of white several meters distant.  The little dragon was alive, he saw to his incredulous relief.  He had curled himself on top of one of the larger rocks, and was licking at his wounds. Guilt seared Hakkai's heart.  "Jeep," he whispered mournfully, staring helplessly at his injured friend.

Jeep looked up.  The gashes on his chest were still bleeding, but not heavily.  The trickle of blood seeping from the wounds was already starting to slow.  Not deep, at least.  Hakkai gave a faint sigh of relief.  The little dragon hesitated a moment, then launched from his perch to fly towards his master.

"No!"  Hakkai's sharp command caused the dragon to bank, and hover in the air not five steps away.  "Don't come near me," Hakkai continued doggedly, feeling the surge of the Minus Wave roil within him as he caught the scent of fresh blood so close.  "It's not safe.  You have to get away from here."

"Kyuu?"  The dragon continued to hover uncertainly.  Hakkai was never sure how much the little creature understood.  But it was so important that he not come any closer.  Hakkai would never forgive himself if he killed Jeep in a moment of weakness brought on by the Minus Wave.

"Kyuu!"  Jeep made the poor decision of trying to close the distance between himself and his master again.

"NO!"  More pain then, as broken ribs grated in his chest, but the shout had been enough to cause the dragon to backwing in retreat.  "Sanzo," Hakkai panted weakly, hoping the dragon would at least recognize the name.  "Go find Sanzo.  He'll take care of you."  That is, Hakkai reflected, if the monk didn't shoot Jeep on sight.  He couldn't be too happy at being stranded in the wilderness.  "Go find Sanzo.  Okay?  Jeep?"

"Piiii," the little dragon bobbed his head back and forth, obviously in some distress.  But in the end, in response to Hakkai's continued pleas, he reluctantly circled once, then flew up into the sky.

Hakkai let himself slump back onto the riverbank again.  With Jeep gone, he no longer had to worry.  If his control slipped and he lost his mind to the Minus Wave, there wouldn't be anyone around to kill.  Not that he could kill anything larger than a tiny dragon in his condition anyway.  He shivered.  The chill of the water was starting to affect him.  He had no doubt that if he'd been in human form, the icy current leaching the heat from him would probably have killed him already.

He had to get out of the water or he'd die.  He had to find his limiters, or he'd go insane.  He couldn't do either, it seemed, because when he slowly tested the extent of his injuries, it became clear to him that he wasn't going to be going anywhere.  The tally of damage was actually quite appalling.  Left leg broken in three places. Right leg with a spiral fracture and a shattered kneecap. Left arm broken in two places.  Right arm intact, but damaged and barely functioning.  Mild concussion, in spite of the care he'd taken to protect his head.  Too many broken ribs to count.  Other more minor injuries as well.  His chances of survival were really starting to look rather slim.

Healing himself might be a reasonable option.  Hakkai gave that some serious consideration.  Unfortunately, he knew from experience that bones were tricky to heal at the best of times.  Worse, he had no way to set the breaks and align the bones on his own.  And when he took stock of his own reserves, he was forced into a realization of just how little strength he had left.  In his current condition, he knew that he wouldn't be able to stay conscious long enough to manage the complexities that such a major healing would require. 

He contemplated that last thought rather bleakly.  It didn't seem like he had much choice in the matter, considering that he wasn't able to move anywhere on his own.  It was unlikely that anyone would find him in time, out here in the middle of nowhere.  To be the recipient of a miraculous rescue twice in one lifetime was probably too much to ask.

Sanzo would have told him he was weak.  Goku would have told him that he couldn't give up, because Sanzo was still alive, and they couldn't die before he did.  And Gojyo...well.  If Gojyo were here he probably wouldn't have said anything, but he would have picked him up off the riverbank and stubbornly nursed him back to health, because Gojyo didn't believe in letting somebody die just because they wanted to.  But Gojyo wasn't here.  None of them were.  So they all lost their vote.

Well, it was only to be expected.  My lifeline was too short, anyway. 

Hakkai shivered again.  The grating of broken bones hurt him.  The dark aura of the Minus Wave gnawed at him.  It was a sick sort of race, then--to see which would go first, his life or his mind.  Didn't matter much, because they would both end in the same place eventually.  But he thought he might like to go while he was still himself, and not some crazed, mindless thing.  He drew in a breath, steadied the lines of ki within him, and settled back to wait for the end.

----------

"Hey, are you dead?"

It was after dark when the voice intruded into the thick fog of Hakkai's drifting thoughts.  They still were his thoughts--the Minus Wave hadn't been able to take him yet, although it had come close at least twice in the span of time since he had first attacked Jeep.  In spite of those near misses, he still clung grimly to the tatters of his sense of self.  It was difficult, because dying was taking a lot longer than he'd expected.  The shivering spasms that had wracked his body into agony as it tried to fight off the effects of the icy water had mercifully subsided into barely noticeable tremors, then faded altogether.  The biting cold had been replaced with a warm lassitude, the most comfortable state he'd been in for hours.  It can't be long now.

A nudge to his ribs woke fire in his chest, and he flinched away from it by reflex.

"Ah.  So he's alive after all."  A shadow fell between him and the moon as the owner of the voice stooped forward for a closer look.

Hakkai pried one eye open.  The face before him was shrouded in shadow, but the straight dark hair that framed it fell to shoulder length, and the dim light showed the pale loop of a bandana across the forehead.  Gojyo?

But as soon as the thought surfaced, he knew it was incorrect.  The outline was smaller...feminine.  And below the swath of the bandana was the unmistakable outline of pointed youkai ears.  Two other demons stood close behind the female figure, and Hakkai could see the metallic glint of bared weapons in their hands.

Breath huffed out of him in a weak laugh.  He couldn't help it.  He wondered if anyone would ever appreciate the irony, that he had survived the fall and the river and the cold and the ravages of the Minus Wave only to be wind up in the hands of their enemies after all.  It amused him to think of it, at the end. 

The youkai would no doubt want revenge for their fallen comrades.  At this point, he could only welcome his fate.  Go ahead, kill me. It's what I want.  I'm dying anyway. So somebody please kill...please just kill me....  

----------