TITLE: Unspoken
AUTHOR: Eyes of Shinigami
RATING: T, mostly rampant cursing.
TIMELINE: None, but I wish it had one.
PAIRING: 39 and 58
WARNINGS:  Very light shonen-ai and language.
SUMMARY: There has always been unspoken bonds existing between the four of them, but not a single one of them know exactly how to figure it out. This idea sprung forth when I read the beautiful doujinishii that I bought recently called “Pulsation of Bosom.” (Gotta love the Engrish, baby!) This plot bunny totally ran me over, so blame it.
DISCLAIMER: You know the drill.

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    “You know, the two of you are really beginning to piss me off,” Gojyo commented, almost completely out of the blue one night as he and Sanzo were sitting at the table, playing cards. The sudden outburst had startled the blond priest out of his melancholy, though he wasn’t quite sure what he had to be melancholy about, to tell the truth. Hakkai had gone out to get a few supplies before the shops closed, and Goku was sleeping in the next room.    

    Sanzo narrowed his eyes, disgruntled from having his thoughts interrupted. “And why, pray tell, would you say something as moronic as that?” he asked, his voice barely concealing his disdain. He had surmised rather easily what the kappa was talking about, a subject that he had no intention of bringing up with anyone, least of all the redhead. “Answer wrong and I just might shoot you.”
    

    Gojyo sighed despite himself, resisting the urge to connect his palm to his forehead. Was Sanzo really that dense? “You and the monkey, shithead. What the hell was that today? You hesitated while we were fighting those demons, because you thought the monkey needed help,” he commented again, keeping his voice as even as he could with bringing up such a dangerous topic. The red-haired man had learned exactly how to walk that fine line with Sanzo; it was almost as easy as dodging bullets.
    

    “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the blond snorted dismissively, eyes lowering to rest on his cards. His hand wasn’t particularly impressive, but he had to look somewhere, anywhere but those eyes that were boring into him.     

    “Whatever you say, priesty. You think me and Hakkai are that stupid? You and the brat have been giving each other funny looks for Buddha knows how long. Why don’t you just ‘fess up?” the other man prodded, recognizing the almost automatic strain in the pale shoulders across from him at that.     

    Sanzo regarded him with another glare, this one more poisonous than the first and clearly hinting at the danger Gojyo was putting himself in. “Didn’t you hear me, you fucking kappa? I said, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said softly, though the tension in his voice was almost tangible enough to touch. He didn’t want to talk about this, not until he had time to think about it more.    

    Another sigh filled the air, beyond exasperated. “Like hell you don’t,” the redhead snorted, amused at how almost childish Sanzo was being about this. If he liked the monkey like that, why didn’t he just say so? It was no secret that Goku was head-over-heels for the blonde, even if he had never said it out loud, so what did the blond have to be scared of?    

    Oh, the feeling part. Right.    

    “Listen Sanzo-sama, I really think you’re beginning to make this a bigger deal than it has to be. It’s Goku, for fuck’s sake. The kid has been enamored with you since he first met you, right? Calling you the ‘Sun’ and all that,” Gojyo pressed on, not even noticing the glimmer of rage that was sparking behind already violent eyes. “You get what I’m saying?”
    

    “Oh, I do. You know, I should have known that you would be the perfect person to talk to about this sort of thing, what with your vast experience in the area,” Sanzo replied coldly, solidified sarcasm practically pooling at his feet as he spoke. He watched as the redhead’s eyes grew wide, which only prompted him further. “Or maybe it’s because we’re floating in the same boat, aren’t we, my friend? Hmm? What do you think about that?”
    

    Gojyo’s expression was reminiscent of someone who had just been slapped painfully hard, and in a way he had. No one had ever called him out on his feelings for Hakkai, and suddenly he was regretting even saying anything in the first place. “Fuck you, asshole,” he sniped, throwing down the cards and storming out of the room. He stormed past Hakkai, who nearly toppled over under the weight of the bags he was carrying when his friend shoved past him.
    

    “Goodness…did something happen?” the green-eyed man asked pleasantly, easily noting the cool smirk on the monk’s face and feeling his own attempt at making peace deflating.
    

    “I don’t think it’s any of your damn business, truthfully. Why don’t you console the roach before he goes out and does something stupid?” Sanzo artfully commanded, though Hakkai sensed a clear warning to make himself scarce. Apparently, the priest was in another foul mood, which he could only guess was prompted by something Gojyo had said. With only a nod, the former teacher finished putting down his bags and left the room almost as quickly as his companion had moments earlier.
    

    This left Sanzo alone with his thoughts, finally, hampered only by the slight glances every so often towards the door on the other side that led to a certain sleeping monkey.

-----

    Gojyo was sitting in one of the other singles the party had rented for the night, watching the smoke of his cigarette curl and dissipate in the moonlight. Sanzo had called him out, with just cause, but it didn’t mean that he had to like it. “Fucking priest,” he muttered to himself, taking in another lungful of smoke before letting it out in a steady stream.
    

    Of course he knew where the priest stood, simply because  his feelings mirrored his own, as loath as Gojyo was to admit it. He was still struggling with the traitorous thoughts that cropped up when Hakkai was near, or when he watched him fight, or…well, just about any time now. He was supposed to be Sha Gojyo, lover of women and playboy extraordinaire, not Sha Gojyo who was hopelessly in something with his best friend. He wasn’t sure what to label it, since he really couldn’t put his finger on the feeling in the first place.
    

    “Gojyo, is that you?” he heard a tentative voice ask, the sound of it like a melody. That voice, always so kind and selfless when it was directed towards him. The door creaked, and he watched as the other man slowly inched inside.
    

    “Who else would it be, wiseass?” the redhead quipped, drinking in the smile that resulted from the teasing jab. It was one of the genuine ones, not the plastered on, pathetic excuse for a smile that Hakkai usually tried to swindle them with.
    

    Hakkai closed the door behind him, chuckling softly as he took a seat on the bed that was nearby. The frame creaked slightly under his weight, causing him to chuckle all over again for nearly no apparent reason. “I don’t know. Could have been anyone. Though, I have to say that the smell should have been an easy indicator,” the green-eyed man retorted easily, smile never wavering.
    

    “Touché,” Gojyo replied, stubbing out the cigarette and flicking it out of the open window. He smirked at the slight frown his action produced, shrugging his shoulders apologetically. “So, let me guess…you want to ask me what’s got Crankypants all in a tizzy, right?”
  

     Another smile replaced the frown, this one far more amused. “I suppose. I was worried, since you whirl-winded out of there so quickly,” the brunet prompted gently. It took Gojyo a moment to realize that Hakkai had removed his monocle and was dressed for bed already, which set yet another line of traitorous thoughts parading through his mind. He shook his head get rid of them, earning him another strange look from his companion. “Are you all right?”    

    “Just peachy,” Gojyo answered shortly, regretting the tone as soon as it filled his words when that smile turned false. He sighed, resting his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward a bit. “Sorry. Blondie and I just had a bit of a…disagreement. We just exchanged a few words, that’s all. No worries.”    

    Hakkai knew Gojyo well enough to say with confidence that all the man said wasn’t all there was, but he wisely decided to leave it be for the time being. Something in his friend’s posture screamed please don’t ask and he decided not to press. “Oh, all right. Well, you know, Gojyo…if you ever need to talk, I’ll always be there to listen. No matter what,” the green-eyed man offered, holding in a sigh of his own. He got up then, preparing to head to his own room until he felt a hand brush his own.     

    “Hakkai…” Gojyo started to say, swallowing the growing lump in his throat. Their gazes locked, and suddenly the redhead found himself without any words to say. The sight of those beautiful emerald eyes, soft and yet so jaded, stole anything he had been planning to say in an instant. I could kiss him, he mused deviously, though his body wouldn’t respond to his mind’s line of thought. I could kiss him just like that. “Thanks…for everything,” he finished after a moment, letting go of his friend’s hand as though he had been burned. He lowered his head, feeling that brief bit of electricity diminishing almost as quickly as it had been brought up.
    

    “Of course,” Hakkai replied, turning before the redhead could see the smile fall from his face like a dead skin and purposefully walking out of the door.
    

    Gojyo simply watched him leave, burying his face in his hands when he heard the door click behind the exiting form of his friend. A groan escaped his lips, muffled by the hands that covered his mouth and sounding more comical than it should have. “Fucking hypocrite,” he muttered, knowing exactly who he was insulting when he said that. “What right do you have to lecture Sanzo when you can’t even do the same damn thing?” He slumped heavily in the chair, resting his head on the back and looking up at the ceiling as though it would provide the answer that he was seeking.

-----

    Meanwhile, Sanzo had long given up on thinking of anything too pressing, snapped from his reverie when he heard a door slam out in the hall. He listened as footsteps scuffled along the wooden floor, halting when they reached their intended destination. Soon, the sound of yet another door slamming filled the air, the air going almost deathly quiet. Apparently Hakkai’s talk with Gojyo hadn’t gotten over well either, given the way the green-eyed man was acting. We’re a load of fools, the lot of us, Sanzo griped mentally, getting up with the full intention of heading to his own bed, until a small noise brought his attention back to that door.
    

    He intended to ignore it, really he did, he told himself as he walked to the room that housed the sleeping monkey. The blond entered as quietly as he could, fearing that making any noise would break the spell.     

    Characteristically sprawled out all over the bed with the covers thrown to the wayside, Goku looked almost peaceful in his deep sleep. A small smile rested on his lips, looking for all the word like a content cat.    

    Sanzo felt his own small smile tugging insistently at his lips, letting it blossom in the darkness where no one else could see it. The sight was just too cute, if Genjyo Sanzo could even use such a word. Not cute, he thought to himself. Beautiful.
    Goku had always been beautiful to him, no matter how much he would try to deny it. How could he not think so, with those encompassing golden eyes that looked as they held Heaven within their depths and that blinding smile his happy charge always wore? Maybe that was what stopped him, he mused internally, leaning closer to the sleeping figure on the bed. Goku was so beautiful, so pure, that he didn’t want to sully him. It didn’t matter than the boy killed nearly as many demons (if not more) than he had, but still, the boy remained innocence personified. A true creature that was not of this plane of existence.
    

    Suddenly, the monk found himself looming over his sleeping charge, their hips bumping as he leaned over so their chests touched. It was almost as his body had acted of its own volition before he was given the chance to think better of it. He was practically nose to nose with the boy he cared so much for, even if he tried desperately to tell himself that he didn’t. If he didn’t, would he have fought so hard to keep him out of the hands of that damnable demigod? Would he have kept him around, no matter how annoying Goku could be at times?
    

    “Goku…” he whispered softly, feeling his breath mingling with the boy’s beneath him, sending shivers up and down his spine. The boy didn’t stir at the sound of his name, which didn’t surprise the priest in the slightest. Goku was such a heavy sleeper; it would take much more than a whispered word to wake him from his slumber. All the better for Sanzo, who simply looked at the sleeping face.
    

    He couldn’t deny it now, even if he would die before admitting anything to that stupid, hypocritical kappa. He let his fingertips caress Goku’s lips for a moment, delighting in how they gave under the slightest touch. Supple and so…damnably…enticing…
    

    Before he thought better of it, he leaned down further still and pressed his lips to Goku’s, offering the most chaste of kisses, though it was not nearly enough. That simple touch had been almost electric, jolting down through his body and pooling in his groin. It made him ache for more, though he wasn’t sure he was ready to give it just yet. Suppressing a groan, he pulled back, lips tingling where they had touched Goku‘s own.
    

    A soft sigh escaped from Goku’s lips, startling Sanzo into fearing that the boy had woken up, but instead he rolled over in the blond’s direction and cuddled into himself. It was more than likely that he wouldn’t remember what happened, but Sanzo would. The monk wouldn’t be forgetting about that any time soon.     

    Letting a resigned huff of breath, Sanzo got to his feet and slowly made his way out of the room, still mindful of his sleeping charge. He knew he wasn’t going to get much sleep, given that he had so much more to think about now. He was quickly lost in his thoughts again, never noticing the peeking open of one golden eye and the small sigh of longing that escaped from still slightly flushed lips

----    

    The next morning proved to be no different than any of the others, with getting ready for the day’s trip and making sure that nothing (and no one) got left behind. However, the general mood was rather bleak, with no riling breakfast conversations and inane fights that resulted in resounding gunshots. Each party member was too entrenched in his own thoughts to worry about such petty things, even as each of them tried ever so slightly to keep the façade while they were loading up.    

    “Is that everything?” Hakkai asked jovially, hoisting the last bag into the back as the rest of the passengers climbed into the jeep. His smile was strained, so much that he looked almost pained at the effort of keeping it in place. The others were careful not to mention it, since they weren’t fairing much better.    

    Gojyo nodded, throwing an arm around his best friend in his own too-cheery-to-be-real way. “Everything but the monkey. Maybe we should leave him here…Hakuryuu wouldn’t have so much work if it weren’t for his fat ass,” he cracked, watching the scowl form on the monkey’s face in a matter of seconds, so busy that he didn’t see the look that flashed behind his other companion’s eyes.    

    “Like you should talk, stupid pervert cockroach. Oh, wait…is that…did your hairline just recede?” Goku shot back, pointing in mock-horror at the place in question and nearly falling into laughter when Gojyo’s hand flew up automatically to check.     

    Gojyo frowned, bopping the boy on the head as they situated themselves amongst the various bags and other scattered items they had to share space with. This began one of their usual quarrels, resulting as always in the gun being pointed in their general direction. “If you two don’t shut the fuck up right now, I’m going to kill both of you and leave both your fat, lazy asses on the side of the road,” Sanzo threatened, clearly cranky from lack of sleep and clearly tired of pretending that nothing was going on. His mind was still stuck in the night before, replaying that soft touch of lips over and over to the point that he could barely stand it. “Now, find something other than bickering and griping to amuse yourselves. I’m fucking tired.”
    

    The two backseat passengers looked at each other, offering a shrug in reply as they fell silent as well. Both were easily content to going back to their thoughts, torrid and muddled as they may have been.
    

    “What a pleasant way to start the day. Never good to deviate from routine, I always say,” Hakkai quipped, his own undertone of mock almost crystal clear in such seemingly innocent words. Not a one of them said anything to that, and soon the green-eyed man fell quiet as well. The healer didn’t even say anything when he heard Hakuryuu’s questioning and concerned "kyuu", gripping the steering wheel just a little tighter to indicate to just let things be.      

    He simply didn’t know what to say. None of them did, really.

-END-