Transgressions by Shyria



Summary: Gojyo wakes up with a gun in his face and the story begins at the end.
Rating: R
Categories: Saiyuki
Characters: Genjo Sanzou, Cho Hakkai, Sha Gojyo
Genres: Angst
Warnings: Violence, M/M, Language, Non-con
Challenges: None
Series: None
Published: 05/27/05
Updated: 05/29/05


Index

Chapter 1: Aftermath
Chapter 2: Bruises


Chapter 1: Aftermath

Gojyo felt the fabric of the sheets pull under his cheek as someone sat down on the edge of the bed. He kept his eyes shut, waiting until the visitor either tried to wake him or left. The edges of a nasty headache were still lingering, even after he’d swallowed down a few pills for it. The red-head was not prepared for the cold feeling of a ring of metal being pressed to his forehead. At least it clarified who his guest was.

“I already sleep like the dead, Sanzo- I don’t need a bullet in my head,” he drawled, opening his eyes to meet a pair of droopy violet ones above him. The priest wrinkled his nose with a small snort that meant he was not amused.

“I think you do, slut,” he growled, thumbing the hammer of the banishing gun.

Gojyo blinked, dropping his teasing expression when it became clear that Sanzo was being serious. He sat up- the gun followed him- holding up his hands in a pacifying gesture. “What’d I do now?”

“You stupid piece of shit,” was the monk’s reply. The barrel pressed even harder into the half-breed’s forehead, twisting now and pinching the flesh. His victim winced, trying to get away from the gun, but the back of his head was already against the wall.

“You can’t even remember, can you?”

Gojyo was extremely confused now- what in the world had he done to bring Sanzo’s full wrath down upon him this morning? He swallowed, trying to look like he didn’t care there was a weapon in his face.

“Enlighten me of my transgressions, Sanzo-sama,” the half-breed sneered.

Lightening flashed across the wet sky, framing the windows of the small pub with a second’s worth of light. The sudden illumination revealed the true red of Gojyo’s eyes causing the bartender to shiver and turn away. This may have been a smart course of action, considering the half-breed’s attitude had been surly all evening and it was getting worse with every swallow of alcohol added. His glass hit the bar with a hard bang, followed by a heavy sigh of irritation. A bottle and a half in his stomach and things still didn’t look any prettier. Not that he was really in the mood to take anyone home for the night.

It still felt like a swift kick in the balls, the alcohol only slightly numbing the ache. And the same question that had been the only thing he could say at the time still lingered in his mind. Not that the answer hadn’t been crystal fucking clear. But there was still the wish that maybe…it wasn’t true. Gojyo’s lip lifted, exposing several teeth that might have been a bit sharper than a regular human’s.

The wee hours before dawn found a completely smashed Gojyo making his way home on a mud sodden path. If only the damn ground would stop tilting, the kappa lamented, he wouldn’t be covered up to his pant-legs in wet earth. He cast a sour glance at his feet, wondering why everything just had to go wrong for him. Gojyo felt like a veritable lighting rod for bad luck.

Before finally reaching the small apartment he shared with Hakkai, the kappa managed to trip several times, splattering his shirt and pants with more mud every fall. The door was yanked open roughly, not a care given to the noise he was making at so early an hour, and Gojyo stepped inside, kicking his boots into a corner. He shoved a hand to the wall to steady himself, blinking in the dim light and cursing.

A small sound came from the vicinity of the couch, followed by a brunette head bobbing upward tiredly. Hakkai rubbed his eyes, awakened by all the noise his red-headed roommate was making. There was a book open on his lap- he must have fallen asleep while reading- and his monocle was set aside on the lamp table. In truth, despite the rude wake up call, he was glad Gojyo was finally home. Hakkai decided earlier that night that he would wait up for him, feeling extremely guilty about causing the half-breed to leave in the first place.

“Are you alright, Gojyo?” he asked, watching with concern as his friend stumbled across the room. The answer was a grunt that was also half a snarl. Hakkai left him alone until it became obvious Gojyo was going to wreck some furniture trying to get to his room. The healer hurried to his side, taking his arm gently. The reek of alcohol was all over the kappa and Hakkai had to turn his head slightly from Gojyo’s breath.

“Let me help you,” he urged, supporting his clumsy friend with his shoulder. He should have expected it really- whenever Gojyo got angry over something he was bound to come home sloshed. It was just his way of dealing with things. Hakkai would be sure to place two pills and a glass of water next to his bed for the morning.

Gojyo glanced blearily at the figure at his side, slowly registering that it was Hakkai and he was speaking to him. He watched dully as the brunette fussed over his mud stained clothes and began to lecture him about drinking in moderation. The same anger that had besieged him at the bar was still roiling in his gut with no place to go.

Suddenly, an answer presented itself. It was all Hakkai’s fault- blame Hakkai. Hakkai was responsible for what happened earlier, it was his fault it was muddy outside, and he was to blame for the throb that was starting in Gojyo’s head. The half-breed grit his teeth and pushed his roommate away roughly.

“I don’t wan’ any advice from you,” he slurred, his hand still pressed against Hakkai’s chest. The brunette looked shocked, delicate fingers reaching up to grasp his wrist timidly.

“Gojyo, I know you’re hurt,” he started to say, but was cut off by Gojyo’s thick palm on his mouth. Worried green eyes flicked to the kappa’s face in search of an explanation.

“I don’ wanna hear it now. I wanted to hear it back then. You missed your chance, so jus’ shut up.” Hakkai felt a stab of pain run through his chest, possibly caused by guilt and regret. He tried to say something, to explain his behavior, to apologize, but the red-head kept pressing his hand harder against his mouth. Gojyo’s eyes were ablaze with anger and hurt, and by the way the muscles in his neck began to tighten, it was obvious neither feeling was going to stay penned up inside anymore.

All of a sudden, the gentle healer found himself on the floor, back aching from impact and a harsh throb beginning in his jaw. Gojyo must have decked him, he realized. Hakkai barely had time to contemplate this before the half-breed was bending down and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt.

Even in the dim light, Gojyo’s appearance was quite frightening- his long hair hanging wildly, mouth twisted into a nasty snarl that revealed glimmering white teeth, and the boom of the thunder outside seemed to echo a roar that might have come from his throat. The worst part was his eyes- twin red rings, dull with drink and sharply reflecting a primitive instinct for violence. There was no flicker of humor, or teasing spark that had always personified Gojyo. Hakkai reflected briefly that the red-head wouldn’t make such a bad youkai at the moment.

The half-breed picked his friend up like a bag groceries and dumped him on the couch, jarring the brunette’s already sore back.

“Gojyo, please,” he pleaded, well aware that he could force Gojyo to stop if need be. Hakkai didn’t want to hurt him, for it really wasn’t Gojyo’s fault and he surely didn’t know what he was doing. Worst of all, he had already hurt the red-head quite badly that morning, and in a way, was responsible for his roommate’s current behavior.

His breath left him as Gojyo climbed atop him so roughly that his weight bore down too heavily on Hakkai’s stomach. A deep throated growl rose from the half-breed, as he leaned forward, latching his mouth onto a patch of flesh below Hakkai’s chin. Gojyo’s intentions were easy to guess now, no matter how hard the brunette wished otherwise.

“Gojyo, you’re very drunk,” he started, trying to speak some reason into his friend’s alcohol saturated brain, “You’re hurting me!” Hakkai’s voice was shrill, as Gojyo had just decided to sink his teeth into his neck harder than was reasonably kinky. When he withdrew, there were two sets of bright red marks.

“You’re mine,” he purred drunkenly into Hakkai’s collarbone, licking and nuzzling him with his nose. Possessive fingers clutched so tightly that skin bruised beneath them. Hakkai squirmed and pushed, forced too deeply into the couch to be very effective. A thin yelp left his lips as he felt a cold hand slip underneath his shirt, clumsily caressing his stomach. He knew he could stop this. All it would take was a blast of chi large enough to knock Gojyo unconscious. Teeth on his nipple derailed the brunette’s train of thought.

“Ow- that’s too hard,” Hakkai whimpered, trying to push Gojyo’s head away from his chest. The red-head didn’t seem to be listening, as his fingers were busy doing the same thing to the healer’s other nipple. Hakkai fought to consider his options, ignoring Gojyo’s ministrations as best he could in order to think straight. He knew why the red-head was doing this, even if Gojyo was too smashed to know himself. Cringing at the sound of his zipper being tugged down, the healer wished in vain that he could take back all the things that were said that morning. He and Sanzo had hurt Gojyo quite deeply, as was apparent in the kappa’s behavior. Wasn’t it only fair that Gojyo get reconciliation for his pain? Didn’t Hakkai owe him this small comfort? Nails scraped against sensitive skin, large, uncaring hands throwing away the brunette’s pants and forcing his legs apart. Hakkai bit his lip, trying to stop trembling, trying to relax so that it wouldn’t hurt as much. Yes, he would let Gojyo get rid of his pain… He would take the punishment for himself and for Sanzo’s actions.

Hakkai inhaled sharply- apparently Gojyo didn’t have the patience or coordination to remove his own pants, and was content simply to undo his zipper and start pressing into the healer’s sensitive entrance. He lay back, not fighting anymore, accommodating for Gojyo as best he could. Move that hip- he wants in deeper- but oh, the pain- it burns and tears inside. Tiny whimpers squeezed from between the brunette’s lips, salty liquid leaking from the corners of his eyes. Too big and too fast- there was nothing to ease the passage save for his own blood, which was beginning to run down his bare thigh.

Through a rumble of grunts and purrs, Gojyo whispered Hakkai’s name, his voice sounding almost pitiful. It stung the brunette worse than the insistent thrusts that battered his insides. His head was pushed into the armchair of the couch continuously, making Hakkai’s eyesight double with each impact. His hips were held at the desired angle with such pressure as to break his bones. All the while, Gojyo kept mewling his name, his climax now close at hand. Red hair crawled like trails of dried blood over the taut muscles in his neck and shoulders, matted to the skin by sweat. The half-breed let out a wordless cry, Hakkai’s yell of pain joining his exclamation of release. It was then that Gojyo’s body finally succumbed to the alcohol and the exertion, leaving him exhausted and panting on his partner’s chest.

A few minutes went by, in which the only sound was their labored breathing. By the time Hakkai finally collected his wits, the kappa’s gasps for air had changed into soft snores. One large hand was fisted into the material of the brunette’s shirt possessively- or perhaps in desperation? Desperation to keep him close?

Gojyo would never admit he loved anyone- he claimed he was incapable of having that emotion anymore- but it was times like these, when the kappa’s pride was out of commission, that Hakkai could feel the raw need to be loved that was bottled up inside begin to spill over. He was much like a small child who was afraid to let go of his mother’s hand, scared that she would leave him all alone. The healer knew this was why Gojyo was so hurt by what he had seen. He clung to Hakkai- to keep him steady and confident- to reassure himself that he wasn’t alone. Hakkai was safe and kind and always willing to take care of him.

It would have been sweet- if not for Gojyo’s tendency to act like a brat and then run behind him for cover. Sometimes, the red-head would do the most selfish things and then flee to Hakkai when others reprimanded him for it. Surely Hakkai would tell him he was right- Hakkai would never punish him- Hakkai would back him up. It was so hard for the healer to tell Gojyo he was wrong because the kappa always took it personally, claiming that Hakkai didn’t really like him or thought that he was stupid or worthless. Was his friendship only true as long as he agreed with everything Gojyo wanted?

Well, if so- Hakkai had done it again. He’d lain back and given Gojyo whatever he wanted. But at least this time it had been him that was wrong. Hakkai sighed heavily, wearily lifting Gojyo from the couch and leaning him against his shoulder. Everything was aching, it seemed, even in places that he was sure he shouldn’t be able to feel. But he must do this final task to set everything right and conclude his punishment.

The brunette dragged his sleeping friend to the bed and laid him there beneath the covers- remembering to reach down and zip up Gojyo’s pants. His own were still somewhere in the living room. Hakkai staggered out of the bedroom and collected his clothing, wincing as he struggled to put them back on. He should remember to clean himself up in the morning before Gojyo or Sanzo awoke. For now, his body couldn’t take much more abuse without rest. The last thing he did before collapsing onto his bed in exhaustion was place a glass of water and two pills on the dresser at Gojyo’s bedside.

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Chapter 2: Bruises

Sanzo’s finger tightened on the trigger as he finished the sordid tale, leaving the red-head to squirm nervously before the loaded gun.

“You hurt Hakkai, you selfish drunkard. Give me one reason I shouldn’t air out your brain with a bullet hole,” the monk snarled, making it painfully clear that this was not an empty threat by thumbing the safety off.

“I- That can’t be true- I couldn’t have!” Gojyo protested.

“What, you think something could actually be beneath you?” The barrel withdrew from his forehead and sunk lower, aiming for the red-head’s crotch. “I think shooting this off would be a better punishment. You seem to use it a lot more than you do your brain,” Sanzo sneered. The half-breed swallowed at the tight lump in his throat, trying in vain to remember doing something like that to his best friend. It was true he’d been angry about what went on that morning but… to rape Hakkai because of it?

“You’re making this up, monk!” he snarled, pushing the gun away and sitting up straighter. There was a peach blur and Gojyo fell back again as Sanzo’s fist connected with his jaw.

“I don’t play sick games, idiot,” the blonde growled, his voice dripping with disgust. He fisted a hand in the unlucky kappa’s shirt and yanked him roughly to eye level. Gojyo winced as his bruised jaw was jostled by the action.

“He told me what happened. But do you know what he said that made me want to puke?” Narrow violet eyes regarded Gojyo as if he weren’t even fit to breathe the same air.

“He defended you.”

Hakkai rubbed the plate with a hand towel until it was dry and set it aside on the kitchen counter. He’d managed to get up before everyone that morning, despite last night’s incident, and make himself presentable. A hot shower rid him of any dried blood, fresh clothing hid the bruises, and a swift tidying up in the living room erased all evidence of what had transpired.

“Hakkai,” a voice came from behind him. The brunette’s shoulders twitched, a cup rattling on the counter top.

“Yes?” he responded, turning around and smiling. Sanzo was sitting at the table, a pair of reading glasses in one hand. He reached for the morning paper while giving Hakkai a quizzical glance.

“Why are you so jumpy?” he muttered. The healer played with his hands for a few seconds before remembering to reach for the coffee pot. Setting a cup before Sanzo, he filled it carefully with hot brown liquid, though his hands shook slightly.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hakkai said pleasantly. The priest was still eyeing him as he lifted the drink to his lips. The brunette only smiled and sat down across from him, bridging his fingers.

“We’re leaving as soon as someone wakes the two retards up,” Sanzo grunted, and by ‘someone’ he always meant Hakkai.

“Of course,” the healer replied, picking up the small cup of sake he had poured for himself.

“Did that stupid kappa say anything to you?” Hakkai choked a little at the unexpected question. He fingered the sides of the cup, looking down at the table and trying not to frown.

“We hurt him, Sanzo,” he said softly. The brunette was startled by the sharp slap of paper slamming against wood.

“He will just have to grow up and get over it for once,” Sanzo snarled. “He doesn’t own you.”

Hakkai was not surprised by the monk’s uncaring response; his tone had been the same in answering Gojyo that morning a day ago. He ran a hand through his short brown hair, staring into the sake cup uncomfortably.

“He’s lonely… You could have-”

“Been nice about it? Then where would that have gotten us?” Sanzo cut him off. “The kappa barely knows the word ‘no’ as it is. You have to pound anything into that thick skull of his.”

It would have saved me a lot of trouble, for one, Hakkai thought, but kept silent. He stood up wearily and went to the sink to finish the last of the dishes. Sanzo watched him roll up his sleeves so they wouldn’t get wet when he reached into the soapy water. The monk managed to catch several slight discolorations on the inside of each arm before they disappeared into the foam. Bruises…? Normally, jumping to conclusions was not Sanzo’s style but the suspicion was already there- and too often his hunches were correct. Violet eyes narrowed. There were no recent youkai attacks to explain Hakkai having bruises and the healer wasn’t the type of person that bumped into or fell over things frequently.

Hakkai’s heart nearly stopped when he felt someone’s fingers curl tightly around his arm and yank it from the sink.

“What’s going on?” he yelped, forced to face the monk who was shoving his sleeves up even farther. He tried to struggle, but Sanzo’s grip was as unrelenting as steel chains. There was silence for a few minutes as the blonde’s eyes traveled over each convicting purple blotch, leaving Hakkai to shake and bite his lip in silent shame. Calloused hands pulled down his collar revealing a collection of red bite marks, then lifted up his shirt, baring the rest of the bruises that dotted his back and hips.

Sanzo shoved him away suddenly. Unchecked rage was clear in his expression, pupils dilating in fury. Hakkai opened his mouth to say something- he wasn’t sure what- just anything that would stop this explosion before it happened. But it was far too late- Sanzo’s fuse was lit and nothing would be able to prevent him from tearing a certain unlucky kappa a new asshole.

“He’s dead. That mongrel son-of-a-bitch is dead,” Sanzo promised through clenched teeth. The monk’s hand was already drawing his gun from inside the sleeve of his robe.

“No, he was-,” Hakkai started, moving to try and block the door. The blonde pushed him aside easily, the line of his bangs hiding his eyes.

“I don’t care. He fucking hurt you and I’m going to use his guts for fishing bait.”

“It wasn’t his fault!” the healer yelped desperately. Sanzo actually stopped in his murderous march towards the stairs, but did not turn around. Neither said anything for a few minutes until Hakkai realized the monk was waiting for him to continue. He swallowed and wrung his hands nervously.

“We…I felt bad for…for what happened… Gojyo was drunk- I could have pushed him away… I…” he stopped, staring at the back of the blonde’s head with a miserable expression.

“You what?” The finger on the trigger was curling.

“I…let him do it.” A shot rang out, killing every other noise, leaving two men standing a few feet apart in absolute crushing silence. There was a smoking hole in the floor by Sanzo’s foot. Without a word, the monk stepped forward and began heading up the stairs. Hakkai sagged against the table, watching him go with a dull look in his eyes.

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