There is dirt underneath his fingernails.

He has scraped and pleaded and please. Please, he says to Mother and Father and Heaven, who are hiding away and he can't see, please. Let me go. I'll be very good. Let me go. Let me see The Sun. I will be very good. Please?

There are Birds and Sky and Clouds, beyond. And Heaven. Because there will always be Heaven and Heaven is where The Sun lives.

This much he remembers when he digs deep enough to cause his fingers to bleed. There is always dirt underneath his fingers, and it rubs against the sensitive flesh under his nails, leaves it raw and red and Hurt, and causes them to bleed, too. Soon enough he can't seem to get the dirt to leave and it becomes a part of him, buries in his skin.

There is dirt underneath his fingernails and it becomes him. Goku is dirt and dirt is Goku. And dirt Goku dirt is very sorry and he wants to be in Clouds in Heaven with Birds and The Sun.

There is dirt above him. There is dirt below him. And he is in here, in dirt, in the mountain that is warm and cold and Mother and Father and things that remind him of (being somewhere, somewhere that is cold and hot and alive in the strongest sense) and he is.

He is.

Disclaimer: Saiyuki is not mine and this is a horrible title. Still not king. *sigh*

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at http://split-infinity.org/saiyuki/viewstory.php?sid=460