"C'mon," the alien cajoled lightly, muscular arm slung across the back of Hakkai's chair as he leaned in close. Personal space obviously meant nothing to him. "I promise you'll like it."

Hakkai frowned slightly, turned a page of Censorinus: de Die Natali, and adjusted his glasses. "No."

"Hey," the alien said with a raised eyebrow and what he clearly thought was a sexy toss of his hair, "I don't think you understand. My species? We give the best sex in the galaxy. You're being offered the chance of a lifetime here, buddy -"

"Apparently you do not speak the English language as well as you profess to," Hakkai said, still not looking up. "I just said 'no'."

"But -"

"Come anywhere near me with your phallus exposed," Hakkai continued pleasantly, "and I will slice it off and drop it out the airlock when we pass V404 Cygni."

"OI! All I'm trying to do is give you unbelievable pleasure, here -"

"And impregnate me." Hakkai frowned over the top of his reading glasses with some severity. "I am not," he said, "a woman."

"Hey Hakkai," Goku broke in from where he sat cross-legged against the wall on the other side of the room. "You think he lays EGGS? I bet he lays EGGS."

"I don't lay eggs!" Gojyo squawked.

He was ignored.

"That is a very intelligent idea, Goku," Hakkai was saying. "Especially as we found him on a planet with large amounts of water -"

"I DO NOT," Gojyo said loudly, "LAY EGGS."

"That's NASTY," Goku yelled, looking at the alien in horrified wonder. "You lay EGGS. I LIKE eggs! But guess what you pervy - pervy water sprite - you're so gross, I'd never eat YOUR eggs! So HAH!"

Hakkai nodded. "Very wise."

"Awwwwww, come on," the alien moaned. "It's what we do to survive. We have sex, and we impregnate - it happens automatically, nothing we can do to control it -"

"Hence my abstinence," Hakkai agreed.

"But - but -" The alien ran a hand through long red hair in bewilderment. "This has never happened before."

"Hmm. Out of scientific curiosity, Sha-san - the way you impregnate, it involves ejaculation, I assume?"

"Well, yeah," the alien said confusedly.

"I see." Hakkai closed his book. "Tell me, then. What are your thoughts on bottoming?