|
Reviews For Worth It?
Reviewer: Random Anonymous
Date: 07/21/05 - 06:57AM
Title: Worth
Wow! You stayed in character really well! This is a great fic, keep up the good work.
Reviewer: Chin Yisou Anonymous
Date: 03/06/05 - 11:17AM
Title: Worth
Tasty story...mmmm yes.... very tasty indeed. Chin Yisou is impressed!
Reviewer: Harukami Signed
Date: 01/21/05 - 03:04PM
Title: Worth
I enjoyed this. :) I particularly love the interesting difference you've highlighted between Hakkai and Gonou, especially in context of a relationship; I presume the reason Gonou's punishing Gojyo is for saving him or something? Or because he's just not finished punishing? A small editing suggestion if you ever choose to revise this, feel free discount at will: I think a third-person POV would work better in this story than a first-person -- in a 1st person fic the reader is necessarially seeing everything through the character's POV, and the narrative style you have seems much more descriptive and evenly paced than seems to make sense for Gojyo's personality/slanginess/upbringing. Not that I don't think he can't feel or think these things, just that the phrasing doesn't feel to me like one he'd use; I don't quite feel that I'm seeing things through a 'filter' of Gojyo's personal dialectic patterns. But if you used 3rd person ("Gojyo looked at himself in the mirror...") you could keep the descriptive tone and, I think, get the same things across better. :) Anyway, thank you for sharing and I hope to read more from you!
Reviewer: Tygrrlyli Anonymous
Date: 07/05/04 - 07:26PM
Title: Worth
You really need to continue this ^_^ It's got a good plot base, it's dark without falling into the category of overly-tragic, and I find it interesting. It would be nice to see if and where you go with this ^_^ |