I found this to be a cleverly imagined scenario of great cyclical bleakness;  what a wonderful example of painful, skilful writing!  I hate my mind having to receive the terrible and tangled picture of Hakkai allowing Sanzo to exploit his youkai aggression and then of the subtle, intelligent priest descended into a purely physical means of confronting his fulfilment and other deficits.  I don't like Saiyuki boyporn in general but the quality of imagination and expression here has lifted this piece way above the usual sides of that particular box!  I don't think I'm going to be able to forget the image of these two self-damaging in the way you've described - and that is down to your skill in writing.   My compliments!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much!  I really don't know what else to say.  I understand the pain that reading in can inflict...it was very difficult to write.  That said, I'm sure we all have those stories that show up in our heads and won't leave us alone until we've written them.  I appreciate  your having taken time to read and to comment.  Thanks.