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Reviewer: Sockpuppet-of-love Anonymous Date: 12/02/05 - 06:03PM Title: one: fatality driven on wings of wax

While your language here is beautiful, it is also quite over the top. I'd recommend toning down the flowery prose, for clarity's sake (I'm still not certain what is happening in your final, butterfly-referencing paragraph in this first chapter).

Reviewer: Ditch Gospel Signed Date: 11/30/05 - 05:03PM Title: one: fatality driven on wings of wax

I love the beautiful imagery and the poetic quality of this piece. You have a very good ability to draw the reader in emotionally, and the tragic feel to this is simply lovely in a painfully heartfelt way. Is there more to look forward to, I hope?

Reviewer: Ditch Gospel Signed Date: 11/30/05 - 05:00PM Title: one: fatality driven on wings of wax

I love the beautiful imagery and the poetic quality of this piece. You have a very good ability to draw the reader in emotionally, and the tragic feel to this is simply lovely in a painfully heartfelt way. Is there more to look forward to, I hope?


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