Kanzeon Bosatsu blows on hir nails, now a very sharp red.
"Ahem," the Announcer prompts.
"Can't touch the note cards yet, hun," se informs. "Just say what's up next, will you?"
"Technically Best Author. However, the Webmaster has just approached me about spacing things out mo--"
"WHAT?!"
The Announcer cringes, as much as a disembodied MC can cringe. "It's just a Staff's Choice Award, your holiness--"
"We've already been here FOREVER! Next you'll spring commercial breaks on us!"
"Funny you should mention--"
"You WOULDN'T--"
"--You're pure evil," Kanzeon hisses.
"May we move on to the Staff's Choice Award, lord?" the Announcer says brightly.
The mistress of ceremonies growls and ushers a hand, leading cameras off to a side stage.
As the lights pick up, you see that this stage is smaller than the others, and is set up with its own screen. Further, the announcer for this award is already standing there. And you have no idea who it could be.
Neither, apparently, can anyone else in the (living part of the) audience. You hear murmurs as some girls break out their collectible trading cards and signed and numbered art books, speculate on "exclusive OVA characters" and such, until the presenter sighs and taps the mic to get everyone's attention.
This done, the Webmaster pulls off her headset and scowls.
"You people," she says. "It's me."
...
The flurry of guidebook flipping continues.
"I'm not a character!" Elvaron, aka SF, wails. "If I was, do you think I'd be here giving out an award? Heisama's in the back room right now sampling chocolates and I'm out here with no escort and nothing to cuddle and any second now I'm going to fall horribly ill again, and I put in so much effort putting this contest together and it's my money getting spent in this, and you people--"
A hand goes up from the front row.
"Yes?"
"So you're from Gunlock, then?" the person queries.
"...Hane," Elvaron says tersely.
A ponytailed head pokes out from behind the side curtain. "Yes, High Priestess?"
"Ikinahare."
"Yes ma'am!"
Later, when most of the screaming has stopped, Elvaron smiles contentedly and faces the cameras again with renewed toleration for humanity.
"So, yes, anyway," she says, for notecards can be damned, it's her bloody award, "now it's time for the Staff's Choice Award. This is a story that was not nominated or voted for by any of the categories, but nevertheless stood out to the staff on 'Echoes from the West''s archive as a great piece of work. We're here to recognize a fanfic that has proven its worth, despite not garnering the attention for a nomination.
"Tonight we look at Leveling Las Vegas by Timmonsgray, an alternative universe fiction featuring all our favorite characters, right down to Homura with his Goku obsession, Kougaiji, who's always a step behind on the action ... and zombies. That's right. Zombies. This particular fic is placed in modern day Las Vegas replete with soul-sucking casinos, and it's up to the Sanzo-ikkou to remedy that.
"Timmonsgray has gotten dialogue down to an art. The banter between the characters is sharp, snappy, and will have you falling off your chair laughing. Moreover, Leveling Las Vegas manages to fit an entire fic worth of action into one bite-sized chapter, which reflects Timmonsgray's amazing ability to give you exactly what's important and nothing else. Low fat, high energy content fic. Mmm.
"It's a real pity that this is the only fic that Timmonsgray has on her account at EftW. That, however, just serves to emphasize the uniqueness of this excellent blend of action, alternative universe, and humor. Leveling Las Vegas is definitely worth your while to check out, if you haven't already read it. Here's just a taste of what awaits you:
"The job took us to Paradise- one of the finest casinos on the strip. All we knew was that the owner, a man by the name of Homura, was messing around in things that shouldn't be messed with- the undead. It seemed that his place's gimmick wasn't white tigers or strip shows or cheap-ass buffets. Instead, the very slots you were pissing your money away at, were also sucking out your soul, until all that was left was a money-dropping husk. You might wonder why a man would want to turn his clientele into lifeless corpses, but we don't. Our job isn't to wonder what the fuck is wrong with their planning. Our job is to simply do one thing- stop them."And get laid."
Elvaron flashes a wry grin. "Yes, there is enough gag slash to make any slash fan extremely happy; truly a happy mix of everything. Do mind the language, though. If it's one thing that this fic has down pat, it's characterization. The swearing. The attitude. The mannerisms. And did I mention the swearing?
"For this, we honor Leveling Las Vegas and its author Timmonsgray, for her unique and exemplary contribution to 'Echoes from the West' that continues to amaze and capture the attention of its staff. Congratulations, Timmonsgray, for your Staff's Choice Award."
And then, with a ready, true smile, Elvaron starts to applaud. And like ripples that magnify and churn up the water, the audience follows suit, until the clapping rises to a moderate roar.