Birthdays, Rufus Shinra had long since discovered, sucked.

The entire gift giving ritual was simply an excuse to redistribute wealth. Corporate politics dictated that the higher you were on the corporate ladder, the fewer presents you got, and the more you had to give out, which equated a terrible drain on funds with no discernable returns.

Ever since he’d become Vice President, he’d received exactly one birthday gift a year. One that never changed from year to year. And stemmed from the same person.

Paperwork. Dedicated from President Shinra to his only acknowledged son.

Lovingly tied up with pink ribbon.

The bundle of paperwork was conspicuously absent on his 21st birthday. He got a call in the middle of the night instead, which dragged him out of bed and all the way to Midgar.

One helicopter ride later, he found himself in the Presidential office of Headquarters. There was a sword sticking out of his father’s back. Lovingly tied up with pink ribbon.

The card read: “Happy 21st. Couldn’t figure out what to get you, since you don’t wear ties. Mummy said that the Company would make a better present than a Hawaiian shirt. Hope you like it.

Love,

Sephiroth.”

Tseng twitched. He’d completely forgotten. Fortunately, he had just the thing on hand…

“Many happy returns, sir,” he said, handing over the hastily wrapped package.

Rufus smiled tiredly at him. “I don’t need a Hawaiian shirt.”

“You do, sir. After Strife destroyed your suit just now-“

“Aw, shit!” Reno exclaimed. “I totally forgot!” He paused. “Say, chief. Would you like a coconut bra?”

As Rufus spluttered, Rude silently gave him his extra pair of sunglasses.

And Elena…

Tseng made it a point to ask his newest recruit just why she was giving the President a pair of pink, fluffy handcuffs.

---

The radio silence is killing me. Leave me a review? ;_;